Jeanne H Barnett's Blog

The heaviness in my heart comes from knowing TOO much . . . there are those I counted among my friends that I find out I did not really know . . . there are feelings within me that I did not know were there that needed much more review . . . deep disappointment in myself and others . . . that is the darkness that is hard to overcome . . .

I sit in the midst of viewing fractured and broken relationships and friends and families that can never be the same again because of the verbal acid thrown in the heat of what was perceived as “a battle” but which should have been a call for each of us to examine ourselves . . .

I weep over the vicious attacks, the “exposes” shared without bothering to validate, the seemingly joyous feasting on the garbage and the sharing of the garbage with others . . . and the heaviness becomes a break in my heart as I allow it to pour out before my only hope for healing, holding out ALL of the wounds as I fall into the arms of my Father and wait for HIS LOVE to wash over my entire being . . .
May God comfort us who mourn
Giving us a garland instead of ashes,
The oil of gladness instead of mourning,
The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.
So we will be called oaks of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord,
that He may be glorified. (Isaiah 61)

Tuesday—November 8, 2016

I am sorry and I apologize for offending anyone but . . . I struggle with FEAR because we now have a President-elect of the United States of America who has expressed stances I detest and is (in MY opinion):
–vulgar
–demonstrates a lack of “class”
–is a horrible role model
–speaks racial insults
–demeaned women and minorities
–uses words I do not allow in my presence
–promotes white supremacy
–has multiple failures of his businesses
–only acceptable communication is when a staff member controls his Twitter account, etc.
–vengeful and erratic
–narcissistic
(By Mayo Clinic Staff Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.)

SO go ahead & tell me I need to love those who voted for this self-centered ego-maniac and I will tell you . . . I do love them and I know some who are friends of mine (I have a problem with “their man”-not them), but I am terrified that these people are going to get exactly what they think they want and, believe me, it will not be what they think it will be and all of us will have to suffer the consequences–

This man was “smart” when he began his campaign with bullying playground techniques by hollering “crooked Hillary” until his followers picked it up and repeated it until many were speaking it and NEVER did anyone offer any real proof of the validity of the accusation . . . that’s sad! I still have not found anyone who can tell me how she deserves that label since every investigation has shown her “not guilty.” I mean, really, compare personal email server use with .NOT paying your employees/vendors PLUS stating a person at his level can treat a woman however he wants PLUS campaigning on racist comments and promises of shutting out others from a country founded by immigrants!
http://mentalartsnetwork.com/american-spirit/

Romans 13 tells me to submit to the government – so I will, but I will work against all I can legally to keep others from being mistreated and abused in the name of “freedom” for those who claim rights for themselves that they refuse to grant to others . . . the 100-day-plan that has been posted should strike fear in heart of each of us who claim to follow the God of all that is. Selfishness and hatred seem to be in charge and that brings my heart to a prone position before the throne of God begging GOD to forgive us and draw us back to where GOD wants us . . . knowing it is GOD who is great . . . not us!

We are called to LOVE . . . we are called to put the interests of others before our own . . . we are told to take care of others with no mention of whether they deserve it or not or are on drugs or not . . . we are all in this together—simple, right?

Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices,
and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him—
a renewal in which there is no distinction between Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and freeman, but Christ is all, and in all.
Colossians 3:9-11

Changing seasons . . . life is full of them.

Sometimes I have noticed a change and sometimes I have just kept walking or crawling forward . . . oblivious to the bigger picture and how a change brought me something I did not know I needed for my journey ahead.

Of course, I did not realize that life was a journey or that I was constantly making choices that took me one place or another. Then, one day, I had an eye-opening moment . . . and, in that moment of clear vision of what had happened in my life before that time, I chose to end it all coming to the conclusion that there was no point in continuing to try to swim in such thick mud when I was unable to make right choices in anything and the losses, the pain, the darkness was overwhelming!

BUT, as is obvious, that choice was not carried out . . . I am still here and my life has continued with all the ups and downs of human existence! The God I walked away from when I was 19 years old because of the wounds one of those claiming to be His child had inflicted on me would not let me end my life before He had finished His work in me. So, feeling defeated and having built a wall around the deepest of wounds in my heart, I moved from North Carolina to Arkansas because my mother refused to give up on me and would not let go.

I did not know it then, but that changing of seasons began the healing of my inner being—it is an on-going process begun years ago by a group of people who accepted me just as I was, broken and ready for the garbage heap. Those people showed me love without pointing out any of my flaws and, even though my lifestyle was totally out of their acceptable way, they trusted God to bring me to where I needed to be . . . and that made all the difference, opening small cracks in my hardened heart where God could shine His Light and Love to guide me.

Changing seasons . . . I cannot always know what the purpose is or how it will ultimately work into my journey at the beginning of the changing season; but, I have come to believe that God’s Plan is for my good and that each step, even if it is a painful time in a pit, is part of HIS Plan that will work out into a beautiful tapestry . . . in His Time, through His Love.

May my heart be open to God’s heart and the messages of the changing seasons . . .          life is full of them.

Sad for the commentary this election makes on the hearts of the majority of the United States of America’s citizens . . .
embarrassed to be included as one who is now represented
by a man who openly spews hatred and fear and disgusting language and attitudes, a despot . . .
concerned for the halt to the acceptance of all people in a country founded by immigrants . . .

My belief system requires that I submit to the government in place knowing that God sets up all governments for His purposes, yes, even Hitler and, no, I can’t explain that—          ask God!

In 1 Samuel 8, the people demanded a king and God told Samuel to give the people what they asked for, that the people were rejecting God, not Samuel—I am inclined to feel that God gave the people what they thought they wanted in the 2016 election . . . an arrogant, uncouth, vulgar man who preached hatred and fear and drew followers in by appealing to the selfish aspect of mankind’s nature.

Those who were not blinded by this man’s strategies to deceive to gain for himself MUST walk forward according to the Truth in their hearts – protect those who are not on this man’s “acceptable” list – provide for the poor & needy – guard against the violence directed at those with different skin color, ethnic origin, sexual preference, religious affiliation . . . BECAUSE we cannot demand for ourselves what we are not willing to give to others, my rights are secure when I make sure others have those same rights whether I agree with their choices or not.

My belief system includes knowing that I am not wise, but I can hold up the “wisdom from above” as a standard for my choices:
“But the wisdom from above is first pure,
then peaceable,
gentle,
reasonable,
full of mercy
and good fruits,
unwavering, without hypocrisy.
(James 3:17)

My belief system means that I can:
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves”
(Philippians 2:3)

My belief system guides my behavior in this dark time;
To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and          humble in spirit;
not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead;                          for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.                             (1 Peter 3:8-9)

and I pray with the psalmist:
But let all who take refuge in You be glad,
Let them ever sing for joy;
And may You shelter them,
That those who love Your name may exult in You.
For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O Lord,
You surround him with favor as with a shield.
(Psalm 5:11-12)

critical—adj.: 1. of or forming a crisis or turning point; decisive; 2. tending to find fault; censorious; 3. dangerous or risky; causing anxiety; 4. of critics or criticism; 5. of the crisis of a disease

Everywhere you turn, you hear it being said, in one way or another, that we are in dangerous times and many people are very anxious. So much is being said against “America”, against government, against government officials, and about the “moral decline of America”, about the lack of moral fiber in elected officials, about the absence of consistent standards among church leaders that many people are living in fear.

The sad thing about all these “things being said” is that they are general statements which allow the individual making the comment to avoid personal responsibility for the condition being spoken about and, in lamenting and crying aloud, to encourage others to avoid that responsibility as well while they focus on what “others” are doing that is so wrong.

While it is always true that we can see flaws in systems and other people, those flaws exist because of choices made by individuals. Individuals who chose to walk a certain path, individuals who were drawn to certain actions by their priorities, individuals who compromised ever so slightly, individuals who have impacted a nation over a period of time—but, many of those who have had a strong impact are not well-known nor were they politicians or religious leaders—individuals who made a choice on the road of life that led them to be less than God would have had them to be and to cause others around them to be less than God would have had them be—mothers and fathers who produced the individuals and the attitudes living in America today.
The great deceit is that it is not you and I, but the “government”, or “elected officials”, or “a fallen church leader” who has corrupted the environment. Convincing us that it is “others” keeps us from looking too closely at ourselves, from examining too closely our individual lives and choices. It succeeds in transferring responsibility (therefore, the need to make change) from my shoulders to some “others” over whom I have no control and that makes me NOT responsible. It is “their fault” and I must fight against them and their agenda in order to restore “perfection”.

However, there is an important consideration we are overlooking: God deals with individuals and requires accountability from individuals!

Check it out: God’s prophets in the Old Testament came proclaiming the need for individuals to repent so that the nation could be saved from the sure consequences that would come (2 Chronicles 7:13-15, one example of many). God has always held individuals responsible for the state of the nation and indicated judgement of a nation would come based on the behavior of the people (individuals).

Also, it is obvious in scripture that we are to be in subjection to the government, i.e., Romans 13:1, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted. . .”. And, in Daniel 2:20-21, “Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are His. He changes times and seasons; He sets up kings and deposes them.”

Jesus came to earth during a time of hard oppression for the Jewish people. Rome was not an easy taskmaster and there were many zealots who worked for the destruction of that government. Yet, Jesus did not spend His time criticizing Rome nor did He encourage others to be disobedient to the laws of the land. Not once can I find that Jesus recommended that the people rise up and “fix the government” that was blatantly oppressive and evil. He did, however, criticize the Pharisees (the religious leaders of the day) for their lack of spiritual depth and that, I believe, is what He would criticize us for today. What we need to “fix” is us—and this can only happen when we allow God to conform us to the image of His Son, Christ Jesus (Romans 8:29). It can only happen when our focus becomes Jesus and our energies are directed toward knowing God and His word: “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2). I believe this occurs when we follow the admonition in Hebrews 12:2— ”fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith”. Focus on Jesus, who during His life on earth instructed people to focus on God and His kingdom, not the kingdoms of this world.

So our battle is not with “others” or the “government”, it is with ourselves. It is me, it is you! Our fingers should not point any further than our own standards, behavior and choices. Examine, if you dare, your own “entertainment”: does it cause you to be a better person, does it lead you to think of God or His ways, does it help mold you into the image of Christ Jesus, would you be comfortable if Jesus were sitting next to you? If not, why are you participating in it? Have you been deceived into believing that there are areas of your life in which God is not interested? Have you been blinded by the god of this world? (Check out the parable of the sower for some valuable insights.)

Reality check:
If you thought you would not get caught— would you cheat
[= steal] on your income tax? (justification is easy . . . the government has plenty of money and I work hard for what I earn and anyway they don’t use it the way it should be used); would you take merchandise home from a store without paying for it? (you know, the scanner fails to accurately scan an item and you just don’t mention it; rationalization follows . . . after all, I’ve bought plenty in there and they make a profit on the other stuff; this is just my discount); of course, if an “overcharge” occurs, it must be corrected and we are quick to point it out (talk about double standard)!

What choices have you made that show you to be a “Christian”—a follower of Christ? Is the standard you require of others at work in your life? Check out Romans 2:21-24, “you who preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who brag about the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: ‘God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.’”

It is my belief that the greatest enemy of reform and lasting change is the same enemy that was identified in the account of the first fall of man from perfection—satan, the father of lies, the great deceiver. It is he who assists us in our headlong plunge into destruction. It is he who offers us thoughts to help justify what we do and condemn what “others” do—he is the “accuser of the brethren” and he is constantly looking for recruits! “Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls.” (Romans 14:4)

Paul said it very clearly in Philippians 2:14, “Do everything without complaining or arguing”. That doesn’t leave room for most of what is being said today. Another clear admonition by Paul is in Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” It doesn’t seem to me that we are doing very much “building up” with our conversation.

What kind of an influence are the Christians of America exerting that would cause others to “put on the mind of Christ”? Where are the energies of Christians directed?
Are we “seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” so that God’s purposes will be served or are we determined to walk according to our own will and what we have decided is best? Are we shining a light in the darkness, are we allowing God’s love to flow through us?

So, America may indeed be in a “critical phase”, dangerous or risky; but, if that is true, it is because you and I are in a “critical phase”, tending to find fault constantly. We have assumed the position of “accusers” when we should be assuming the position of falling on our faces before God and humbly asking for His wisdom to guide our lives.

Time spent in God’s word and
in His presence will result in changed hearts in individuals and and that is what will result in
a changed America!

“It is time for judgment
to begin with
the family of God . . .”
I Peter 4:17

—thoughts written in 1996—by the grace of God ~ October 1996

Interesting . . . that was my take away from a recent discussion I participated in on Facebook.

This season, unfortunately, brings out more intense, emotionally-charged comments which often seem rude and offensive and “discussions” often leave me wishing I had not participated because of the negativity and lack of respect shown for others.

However, the most interesting thoughts I had after the most recent exchange were not related to the subject of the discussion . . . which, of course, was political—
• it surprised me how much the comments gave me insight into the person’s relationship with God and what he/she thought God was like
• it gave a pretty clear picture of the level of “trust in God” versus “self sufficiency” and how that would play out in the person’s view of the world we live in
• it gave a measure of how separate the person’s political/secular world was from his/her “God”
• it would seem that the motive for the comment could determine the emotional involvement (of course, personality would be a part of this as well)–but, posting to share an opinion with the idea of exploring other’s ideas would be different than one posting with the idea of trying to change another’s opinion (changing another’s opinion, realistically, is unlikely)

I am sure a person skilled in human behavior analysis would be able to draw some interesting insights about each person based solely on the comments.

Most of those involved in the discussion were strangers to me so I have no way of knowing if my “insights” were accurate or not but, at the very least, they were interesting
AND
it made me stop to think about what my comments said about me and whether or not my comments would reflect what I believe and Who I believe in . . . interesting!!!

My heart feels such a strong yearning for union with God that it is an actual stirring in the heart within my chest, a physical response mirroring my spirit’s deep longing . . .

I am drawn to the description of the Quaker approach
to worship:
   ‘WORSHIP, according to the ancient practice of the Religious Society of Friends, is entirely without any human direction or supervision. A group of devout persons come together and sit down quietly with no prearrangement, each seeking to have an immediate sense of divine leading and to know at first hand the presense of the Living Christ. It is not wholly accurate to say that such a Meeting is held on the basis of Silence; it is more accurate to say that it is held on the basis of ‘Holy Obedience.’ Those who enter such a Meeting can harm in two specific ways: first, by an advance determination to speak; and second, by advance determination to keep silent. The only way in which a worshipper can help such a Meeting is by an advance determination to try to be responsive in listening to the still small voice and doing whatever may be commanded. Such a Meeting is always a high venture of Faith and it is to this venture we invite you this hour.”

(The People Called Quakers, D. Elton Trueblood ©1966, Harper and Row edition 1966, Friends United Press edition, 1971)

To feel neither the constraint of not speaking nor the pressure of having to speak . . . it seems my human nature is not comfortable with “undefined time” and I tend to feel the need to schedule and have itineraries and know there is some person responsible for the flow of the time we spend together.

To be still and to allow that stillness to permeate my being . . . to fix the eyes of my heart on Jesus . . . to quell the activity of my mind . . . to hold without anxiety to my listening heart . . . to allow trust in God to flow as peace in me . . . to be open to an expression of that God presence, verbal or not . . . to allow the discomfort of total surrender to be washed away into that unfathomable depth that is God who draws me and longs for
relationship with me . . . amazing and totally unimaginable!

Recently I was discussing a “political” post on facebook with a friend of mine and a man (a stranger to me) inserted himself into our discussion and ended it by saying “STOP” and in a second post gave his motive as “debating theories and or perspectives should not be conducted in such that, it could confuse or halt young beginning Believers.”

I am VERY concerned about this stranger’s stated motive—not discussing hard issues young Believers might observe—it is my opinion that faith that is not tested or questioned is not a faith that can stand during hard times. I believe open discussions of hard issues should take place as long as the participants are respectful of each other. I believe that each of us go through many “tests of faith” in our lifetime and not examining why we believe what we believe or Who is the God we say we believe in is what will leave us stripped of the strength needed to walk daily through the trials and tribulations.

When I was growing up (LOTS of years ago), I was taught that it was the right thing to do to “search the Scriptures” to see if what I was being told lined up with the Word of God or to talk with an older believer about questions. However, as I reached upper teen years and into my twenties, there seemed to be a change in the way the Church taught and it became “bad” to question what you were told by the leadership and to search it out for yourself.

This is a major concern to me about this man’s statement because I believe young Believers should be encouraged to explore their “faith” searching the Scriptures for the Truth, seeking God’s Way through the world we live in, knowing that every situation we face is known to God and His promise is to never leave us nor forsake us AND to guide us—not to mention that we are told to “try the spirits” to see if they be from God. None of this is possible if we are not having the difficult discussions openly and allowing questions to be asked and answered and differing perspectives explored.

Not teaching “young believers” to question what they are told, to explore why they believe what they believe, to examine differing beliefs under the Light of God’s Word leaves them unequipped to face the darkness in our world and there are those who distort God’s Truth for their own reasons.

Each of us who claim to be “followers of God” should be confident coming into His throne room and saying, “Father, I don’t understand, please give me wisdom.” or even “Oh, God, I am so confused, guide me.” It should always be the Word of God that directs my steps, not my blind allegience to some leader, either secular or spiritual. Often, someone else’s experience can help me see an issue in a less biased way which is one reason we need each other and we need open exchanges of opinions–light always overcomes darkness SO bringing issues into the “light” of respectful, open exchanges of thoughts and questions removes the power of “darkness” to deceive.

Just for context: I do not claim to be able to read anyone’s heart, so I do not judge this man, but I have some problems with the rudeness and inappropriateness of stepping into a discussion you are not a part of and telling those involved that they cannot be involved in it either. Note: neither my friend nor I were being disrespectful to one another or doing any name calling, etc., this was really a discussion where we were sharing opinions as opinions and I was looking forward to hearing his thoughts and why he viewed it the way he did, but this stranger broke in after I had shared my perspective so I never got to hear the “reasons” behind my friend’s thoughts . . . sad.

Each day is filled with measurable units of time . . . 24 hours, each hour filled with 60 minutes; 1,440 minutes, each minute filled with 60 seconds, and I have come to realize that each of those time periods is filled with moments. It is the moments I recall more often than the hours or days and I am just beginning to become aware of how important it is to pay attention to the moments in each day.

I came across some pictures I took November 22, 2012, at Lockwood Park in Newport, Arkansas, and it really illustrated the impact of choosing what to pay attention to in the collection of what I saw that day, thoughts that came to me as I reviewed the images, and the realization that I miss SO much as I go through a day!

This brought me to the thought that Life should be a story of moments . . . it’s all about perspective—-how you see each moment as you slow down and pause each moment, explore each moment, and live each moment fully, it will impact you differently than the usual rushed “fly-by” moments—-perspective gained through choices made . . . moment by moment