some decades ago (more like a lifetime ago), it was pretty well accepted by most adults that yelling and screaming was not the sign of a “reasonable” person and we tended to not listen to the rants and rudeness of those doing the yelling and screaming . . .
today, it seems to me, that we have reversed those conclusions and more are repeating the yelling, screaming rudeness we used to recognize as signs of immaturity –
the book I am currently reading has stirred me to remember the calm, rational voices who spoke firmly and often shared hard truths, but did NOT yell and scream or rant with insults and rude remarks – they were simply voices that calmly, and sometimes passionately, spoke truth – who called us to think (WOW!) and to talk respectfully about challenges and explore solutions without belittling or insulting others . . .
Today, in search of Peace, I stepped outside my door – needing healing and guidance and, oh, so much more, a Sanctuary of Silence is my goal – seeking rest for my weary soul as violence and darkness take their toll and I long for the Way that will make me whole . . .
As I walked slowly through my yard, a scene caught my eye – in my neighbor’s yard which had always been filled with a beautiful mix of colorful plants which my neighbor lovingly tended until she reached a time when she could no longer get out and work in her yard –
Now, the wheelbarrow sits overgrown, with its handles sticking up, the bird bath has no water in it, and a large pot she used to put new plants in before they were put in her yard sits empty –
It is obvious the colorful flowers have come up on their own, when they choose to, just as colorful as ever, but in a more obviously “wild” arrangement and I stood staring, amazed at the mix of colors and textures that made a beautiful, relaxing picture no one had put together – there was an unseen “gardener” with excellent skills directing the scene before me with Life spilling out all around, over, and through the whole area – everything growing, at the direction of an unseen gardener – unseen, but evidenced by the beauty like a picture painted by a master painter!
I wonder . . . could that “unseen gardener” grow the mix of colors and textures in my world into a picture of beauty? maybe even grow beauty inside me? empty out some areas and grow Life over other places so that an empty “wheelbarrow” (like my heart maybe) becomes covered and filled with the beauty of Life under the skillful direction of an “unseen gardener”
I do not KNOW anything anymore except that every day I am faced with LOUD aggressive voices each telling me why the “others” are “evil” – whatever that means these days!!!
and then – there are AI-generated memes and videos that look so “real” portraying scenes that support whatever their message is – the world is in uproar!
SO, I am left in TOTAL CONFUSION and FEAR! What can I believe? Who can I believe? “Chaos” is the opposite of “order” and that is all I can see right now as I look around – chaos! disorder! destruction! and all that overload makes me feel totally empty inside with a mind that cannot begin to understand where I am, who I am, how I got here, and what happened to the world I knew???
THEN . . . as I walk around my yard to try to calm myself, I see some white flowers growing among the weeds and I stop to wonder how they are growing in the midst of “weeds” – they cannot be getting any help from those dead weeds and yet, they are growing there!
The flowers are in a “group” together with their stems going down into the soil beneath them, so their roots are getting what they need and they are open to the Light of the sun.
As I stood there, I felt there was a message in that little group of flowers that I needed to answer all my confusion. • draw nutrition through my roots, • take in the Light, and • stand with others doing the same thing . . . hmmmm!
A short trip into my yard – a moment of Silence in the Sanctuary of my yard brought a sense of Peace to a heart weary and worn out from looking at the world that had been “created” by some in pursuit of power and wealth when what I needed was a moment breathing in my Sanctuary of Silence in the REAL world, the one created by a Power beyond the comprehension of we “little human beings”!
Lesson for ME:
schedule some moments daily for breathing in my Sanctuary of Silence . . . listening and breathing in the Life and Love of all creation!
outside the “one true church” — I was SO devastated – 19 years old living a nightmare of betrayal striking deep wounds and, in the midst of this time of crisis, I was told by the wife of a leader of the “one true church” on a Sunday evening after the service that I was not welcome any longer because I had sinned . . . most sadly, the members of that “one true church” knew about the horrible circumstances of my life which had devastated me to the point of deep depression – BUT, I was not welcome any longer at the “one true church” because they said, by the word of God, I had sinned . . . I walked out into the dark parking lot, alone . . . the newest member of the “lost” . . . hopelessly “lost” . . .
as I walked out into the darkness, I shouted to the darkness above and all around me:
“if that is what people of God are like, I want nothing to do with them or with their God!!!”
I drove out of that parking lot with tears streaming down my face feeling the weight of the brick thrown at me in the pit of my stomach –
knowing there was NO answer for me because the only way to not be “lost” was to be a member of the “one true church” and that door was slammed shut – the overwhelming darkness of hopelessness consumed me and, for a long time, I went through my days and nights like a zombie – empty and “lost,” not caring about anything or anybody.
I felt dead with no emotions at all and soon came to think there was no reason to continue to live – I had messed everything up and there was no one to care about me . . . not even me.
Then, one day a girl at work asked me to go with her to a meeting that was sold as a way to find out how to live and grow as a person – a teaching called “new age” especially for young people who were unhappy with the world as it had been changed by people who did not know the “truth” of ancient times that was meant to create a utopian world, we could make the world be what it should be to be good for everybody!
The “age of Aquarius” had been talked about over many different periods of time from antiquity – BUT, we could now bring it into existence! We had access to the knowledge and we could tap into the power – I could tap into the power!
It sounded so good – it sounded like I had found the way to stop being “lost” – I could be “saved”! It made sense and it energized me and many others with “special” knowledge and a serious “mission” – save the world! Set the world right! YES!
I felt good about this “mission” and it did not require the perfection I had been trained in my childhood to demand of myself and others – all of sudden there was Hope stirring in me!
However, my childhood “training” had planted a deep seed – any Hope had to include Jesus and, as I was exposed to the “Jesus movement” music, I passed through “new age,” through “the occult,” and entered the “take the world for Jesus” mission moving from demanding perfection according to my opinions and opening up to “what would Jesus do” bracelet era – love . . . freedom . . . belonging . . .
I could see what was wrong with the “one true church” and I judged and condemned them just like they had done to me . . . NOW I could be part of the “take the world for Jesus” . . . save the world . . . a higher mission, a serious purpose – “saved,” me and the world!
as a young child growing up in the “one true church,” I felt the burden of taking the “truth” to all the lost in the world – the pressure was overwhelming to a child who could not comprehend what “lost” meant except that it was very bad and involved being punished forever with fire!
The fire and brimstone messages brought nightmares about being caught in a fire and not being able to get out, I would awaken screaming for my mama.
Over time, I grew more determined to “seek and save the lost” – it was MY assignment in life, my mission, so around 9-years-old I started being a part of a group of children going door-to-door handing out little tracts that would explain why that person had to belong to the “one true church” in order to avoid burning in hell – one of the tracts we handed out was titled “Why I am a Member of the [name of church] ” (fill in the group you were/are a part of – there were and still are many that claim to be the “ONE true church” and faithfully spread their message).
Many of the people I knew who were a part of my childhood were driven by a deep desire to save others from what we were taught was eternal punishment and to redirect them to the eternal reward of heaven!
These were NOT mean folks, but part of my darker childhood history who believed the same things I believed and felt driven to “save” people – it was a serious mission.
As I became a young adult and was confronted with life and its many challenges, I found that my “religion” (the “one true church’) had not equipped me to deal with MY life – all I had taken away from my childhood “training” was a fear of punishment and a desire for the reward, BUT, other than belonging to the “one true church,” I did not know what got me punishment and what got me reward. Ah! “SIN!” that was the answer of course, but just what was sin? I did not know the answer to that question . . . and I guess I still do not know the answer to that question – what is “sin?” and, with that foundation stripped away, “who am I?”
In my childhood, my life was defined by • a mission, a strong clear purpose (seek and save the lost all around me) and I had • a goal (avoid eternal punishment) so I never asked any questions – NOW, from outside the “one true church,” I am left with one question . . . “who am I?”
SO many questions today! Loud voices telling me who and what I MUST believe and what I must NOT believe! and yet . . . I have SO many questions!
Mostly I do not ask my questions out loud – but they are there in my heart/mind making me feel uncertain and fearful and I feel lost, not in sync.
It is SO easy to look at others and see what is wrong with what they are saying and/or doing – BUT isn’t the more important question: what do I believe and say and do?
Perhaps this quote is worth considering: “We discover part of our true self only by conspicuous inspection of the depths of our conscience.” ― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls
who am I? that is where I need to “shine the light” and discover if I am on the path that shows who I am!
looking at the “age of enlightenment” might help . . .
It seems a good time to review what I know about the “age of enlightenment,” a major influencer of where we are today — some of the “gains” made over that lengthy time in the history of the world appear to have been distorted (in my opinion) to draw many to follow a path that is NOT in line with the basic “goals” of that age . . .
The central doctrines of the Enlightenment were • individual liberty, • representative government, • the rule of law, and • religious freedom, in contrast to an absolute monarchy or single party state and the religious persecution of faiths other than those formally established and often controlled outright by the State.
SO, it would seem NOW to see what a comparison of our current society with the basic concepts put forth during the “age of enlightenment” would reveal . . .
what do I see “guiding” our society?
what “goals” do I see being pursued?
what results are being lived out in our world?
simple, not easy!
======= a more in-depth review of the Age of Enlightenment (approx. 1685–1815) would probably be very interesting . . . • Timeframe • Core Beliefs • Key Figures • Impact (then and now) • Intellectual Shifts and so much more ============
WORDS – powerful tools to build a world but also extremely effective weapons to destroy and conquer.
In my world today, I hear words being REDEFINED (given “new” meanings)
and I hear sacred texts being MISUSED / MISQUOTED (taken out of context, distorted, misapplied)
An example:
“awaken” has been cast aside by many and “woke” has been put forth as an undefined judgement, an insult no one seems able to give meaning to, hurled at someone who expresses a differing opinion
The usage of these two words shown in the charts reflecting usage would seem to indicate a concerning “trend” – using a word (woke) which most I have heard use do not have any definition of the word other than: “it means your are wrong!”
—”WOKE” usage has increased (an insult defined by each individual using it – meaning you do NOT want to be that)
—”AWAKEN” usage has gone down (to spring into being, arise, to rouse from sleep – in the past was a positive term)
I want to be “awakened” (to become aware and active) and I do NOT consider “woke” an insult ============ some thoughts from ― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem
“• We awaken by asking the right questions.
• We awaken when we see knowledge being spread that goes against our own personal experiences.
• We awaken when we see popular opinion being wrong but accepted as being right, and what is right being pushed as being wrong.
• We awaken by seeking answers in corners that are not popular.
• And we awaken by turning on the light inside when everything outside feels dark.” ============
WORDS – TOOLS or WEAPONS it is a choice . . .
———- a footnote: in the Etymology online site, this note appears as a part of the definition of “awake” to indicate an exception to “awake, awaken, wake” – basically identifying it as a word not falling under the guides for using “awaken” (The 2010s colloquial use of woke in relation to political and social awareness is an exception.)
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Jeanne
Jeanne H Barnett's Blog 