Jeanne H Barnett's Blog

as the years add up—

transitions of life . . .
challenging steps . . .
what I can’t control and
what I can control . . .
choices . . .

To begin a new chapter on our journey can be overwhelming. All those emotions, all those deep feelings of loss and the confusion of not knowing what lies ahead can drag us into a dark pit BUT . . .
if we can choose to look at the next chapter as the next step in an exciting adventure, it will make it possible for us to go forward with anticipation!

This chapter means learning to let go of “things” and reviewing what is really important to me, prioritizing what I have accumulated over all the previous years so the “stuff” doesn’t push my important, heartfelt memories out of the way.

As the years add up, the stuff adds up until all I can see are piles of stuff and I am afraid I will lose something important – that is what I am dealing with now . . . fear that a part of me, an important memory will be discarded and I don’t even know exactly what that means or what to do about it.

SO, I am going to start at the top and work down in my thoughts:

#1 transitions of life
I KNOW! There are always changes that have to take place in life, some internal and some external—that’s just a statement of fact, so I have to accept that: there have been and always will be changes in life and I have made it through some pretty rough ones in the past so I will make it through these!

#2 challenging steps
YES! leaving a place I am familiar with and going to a new place is SCARY! It is NOT comfortable to think about being in a new place or being around others I don’t know and don’t have a relationship with in a new place—making a transition when nothing is in the place it used to be in and those around me aren’t going through it with me because they are already used to the place BUT I have had to walk through some dark, unfamiliar places before and LOOK AT ME, I made it and gained a part of me each time I came back to the light so watch out world, I am exploring more of me in this new place!

#3 what I can’t control
OKAY! There are some things I cannot have any control over – some health issues just seem to pop up without warning and I have to depend on qualified health care personnel to help me through them (praise God for some of those caring people that have helped me). So, this is one place where I refuse to let fear overcome me. I am standing up (or sitting down, ha! ha!) and saying, whatever heath issues I have will be treated as needed just like they have been in the past and I will choose to enjoy each day and each breath I take!

#4 what I can control
YEAH! I can choose to look at things that draw me to the light, things that encourage my soul and fill me with hope. I can look for ways to let my creative side out and that always lifts my spirit. A pen or pencil, a pad of paper, a picture, a song, a kitty cat, or just looking at a tree going through the seasons . . . I can choose to look at LIGHT and let it stir me to express my inner being, to spend time exploring what Life reveals me to me and maybe just snuggle into the fuzzy sweater or wrap up in that scarf that makes me feel pretty—I can control where I stand each moment in my heart and in my mind!

#5 choices
NO! “No” is not always the right choice and I do have choices to make. Like the two-year-old, I most often want to say “no” to others I feel are trying to make me go or do certain things BUT it is always true that life needs me to say “yes” so I can move ahead on the path of life and explore the next chapter. Fear, sure I feel some fear but that can help me be cautious as I take the next steps. Anxiety, you betcha, because there is much I cannot see from here and it feels like there is so much I cannot control but that can mean I need to learn to trust my ultimate Guide to provide those along the way to help me move forward. Overwhelmed, the word that comes to mind when I look around and try to figure out HOW to move forward but that can help me see the need to take “baby steps” in each part of the process and to let others help me.

Perhaps the main choice I need to see is that the Universal Love has been leading me on a path that would ultimately show me the choice to release myself to Love that trusts others are part of the plan in place from the beginning, a Love that flows to and from others so that what has been placed within me unites with the One, a Love that never fails, never dies, and always binds us all together on a journey that never ends!

Transitions of Life mean relaxing into the Flow of Love . . .

IN THE 1960s, many of us saw the materialistic lifestyle being lived by our parents and knew it was bad – there was a common theme of “keeping the outside of the cup clean” so that everyone thought you and your family were perfect . . . and we knew that was not possible, it was fake, it was hypocrisy!

We wanted to change that world – we wanted to tear down that fake image and live as “real” people and we knew that the only way to do that was with love, unconditional love for everybody.

We MADE A MISTAKE . . . we thought we had to destroy everything so we could build our world as it should be, you know, throw the baby out with the dirty water.

Without getting into the deeper problems with human nature, the government introduced LSD into protestor groups to see if it would work as a truth drug, and the walk toward a “better world” was derailed and many were pulled away from their original mission by drugs and the lifestyle choices that naturally follow.

SO INSTEAD OF BUILDING, we destroyed much of the undergirding of society, the rules governing behavior, and traded unconditional love for “free” love which meant physical expression with no commitment, lust without relationship, and without investment, we cheapened the foundation of family and set ourselves up for self-centered indulgence “justified” because we were being “real” and not fake like our parents.

In my opinion, our destroying of standards is evidenced in movies like “Grease” where a female comes to a high school as a “goody-two shoes” and is deemed successful when she accepts and becomes like the rebellious teens around her. The message is pretty clear . . . but mixed in reality. Accepting those around her that were different from her was good, but adopting their disregard for rules and their irresponsible lifestyle choices as her own just so she could be accepted as a part of the group was not good—peer pressure made “bad” good.

Our CORE VALUES are no longer clear, they are mixed and our human nature is used against us to destroy our world as we are “sold” a world that will cater to us (or so we are told) and all the “unfairness” in our lives will be “made right”! WE will get everything WE want . . . “victims unite” and throw out everything that supports the past we see as treating us wrong and redefines anything that makes a profit as “good business,” even if it is unethical or harms others!

WE MUST HEED THE CALL
• to higher standards, shared values
• to do unto others as we would have them do unto us,
• to hold to the strength that comes from working together,
• to a focus on building, fixing flaws, and not on tearing down or destroying,
• to valuing all human life,
• to protecting our world, not just our money,
• to helping each other when a storm hits and threatens any of us,
• to sharing what we have so we can all survive
                    SELF vs COMMON GOOD
               choose:  every man for himself OR . . .

I BELIEVE I should be governed by
the golden rule:
“do unto others as you would
have them do unto you”

HOW CAN I interact with friends and family who:
blindly follow leaders who are NOT governed by the golden rule and
who chastise me when I point out flaws in reasoning
or lack of valid information and
basically make me out to be the “bad guy”

HOW DID we get to the point:
that supermarket tabloids who have lost lawsuits because they were guilty of manipulating either photos and/or making up headlines are now touted as valid news sources

WHY AM I considered so gullible:
that I am supposed to repeat what I am told without really
examining the obvious marketing slogans motivated by
“loyalty” to a man only – no need to use the brain?

WHY IS BLINDNESS a requirement:
for membership in “what’s acceptable” in our world today and loyalty
is described as blindly following and
strongly coming against any who do not agree

WHEN DID HARSH WORDS become:
the right way to deal with dissent with anyone who
disagrees including friends, family, and strangers

January 15, 2015 at 1:38pm ·
NO OFFENSE INTENDED—JUST SHARING MY OPINION
With all that has happened lately, my heart has been heavy . . . why is violence the answer to frustration . . . how can anything make it right to take someone else’s life . . . why can’t we instead join together in the areas of beliefs we share:
• we believe in ONE God,
• we trace our history to Abraham,
• we consider it important to observe God’s commands to the best
of our understanding & ability
• we want to preserve & protect our families & our way of life
We have common concerns:
• what is going on with our children
• what lifestyle is growing in our society
• how can I protect my family
• can I live according to what I believe
With such strong areas of common belief in groups, even though all may have violence in their history, they do not teach violence as the answer to life’s issues—why can we not work together to find the answer to give to those who are being drawn into groups that offer violence as the answer.
If the answer is wrong, maybe we are not asking the right questions . . .

The Physical Therapist is the motivator for those who have lost the full use of their motor skills — for those who do not have the strength in their muscles to
perform some function(s) and have often lost their belief in their ability to cope or perform. The Physical Therapist,
by encouraging exercise, often through excruciating pain, builds strength in those weak parts and enables an
individual to perform tasks more fully and to become a more functional human being.

This morning, the thought came to me that God is our “Spiritual Therapist” building strength in areas of weakness – exercising and motivating, through the continual pushing beyond what we think we can bear, sometimes through excruciating pain, God develops in us an awareness of the strength that is there for us to draw upon to “run the race” we are called to run and to bear up under the trials we must face.

The analogy starts to break down here. While the Physical Therapist motivates an individual to develop and become aware of his own strength, God motivates and pushes us to develop our faith and awareness of HIS strength that is reflected through His people. So that Paul could express what we all should understand, “. . . My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (II Corinthians 12:9). And the writer of Hebrews gives us examples, “. . . For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: with faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens.” (Hebrews 11:32-34). [emphasis mine]

It is interesting to me that we will normally recognize and appreciate what the Physical Therapist does for the person needing to re-establish physical strength, but will rail against our Spiritual Therapist and the “exercises” He allows us to go through. We will applaud the first tiny response of a person going through physical therapy,
but belittle those first sometimes unsteady and awkward spiritual responses both of ourselves and others. Instead of viewing ourselves and our inherent weakness, we need to be focusing on the strength God is displaying through us. We must become so assured of His faithfulness and so confident that His desires for us are for our good that we drop the blinders of pain that make us see ourselves as “victims” and see the awesome hand of God at work in our lives and on our behalf in every situation.

If we put ourselves in Joseph’s situation, can we not see ourselves focusing on our innocence, on the injustice being inflicted upon us, on the sinfulness of his brothers and their lack of punishment, and on the questioning of a God who would allow this to happen to a “good” person? Yet, because we can read the account in its entirety without having to suffer through the actual “stretching” time, we can see God’s hand and we can see God’s bigger purpose to provide for His people in a time of famine while also developing a faith (an awareness) of God’s plan and confidence in His provision for the
individual as a reality in Joseph’s heart. This is so clearly reflected in Joseph’s response to his offenders, “And Joseph said to his brothers, ‘Please come near to me’. And they came near. And he said: ‘I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life. . . . And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.

So now it was not you who sent me here, but God; . . .” (Genesis 45:4-5, 7-8).

Joseph did not allow the pain of the experiences nor bitterness toward the tools God used to bring him to Egypt and eventually to the role of leadership to blind him to God’s true purpose. He saw and acknowledged that it was God whose purposes had been served, not the evil intentions of his brothers. And, because he saw God’s hand in it, he did not hold bitterness nor demand punishment of his brothers, even though they obviously were guilty of abusing their brother.

And so I believe it is in my own life. If I can but allow myself to see the higher purpose which can only be viewed through a trust in God’s great faithfulness, then nothing can come upon me to deplete my strength . . . because it isn’t my strength that has been developed, but an awareness of God’s strength working through me. And, it isn’t my strength that is being drawn upon, but God’s unlimited power flowing through the door of faith into my heart, my mind, and my body, and flowing out of me as confidence in the outworking of God’s plans in my life, even if I don’t understand. Therefore, not in my ability to cope, not in my strong will, not in my intelligent response to anything, but in my availability to God will I find reason to boast.

(April 28, 1992 – 5 a.m.) Jeanne Hicks Barnett

There are some interesting connections that I feel with the “Feast of Booths,” sukkot observed by Jews, Hebrews, Israelites, Messianic Jews, Samaritans.

Sukkot has a double significance. In the Book of Exodus agriculture is mentioned – “Feast of Ingathering at the year’s end” (Exodus 34:22) – it marks the end of the harvest time and so of the agricultural year in the Land of Israel. The more elaborate religious significance from the Book of Leviticus is that of commemorating the Exodus and the dependence of the People of Israel on the will of God (Leviticus 23:42-43).

So, the twofold significance:
1) ingathering at year’s end marking the end of harvest time
and
2) exiting “Egypt” and entering dependence on the will of God
are both obviously present at a particular period in my history.

—September 1980: the end of harvest time (you reap what you sow) seen in my planned suicide, an unexpected call from my mother, and a forced move (that’s exiting “Egypt”) . . . I came to live in the birth state of my father and the place of my parents’ residence (that’s the “ingathering”)
which
began a pilgrimage (September 1980-June 1986) I did not know I was taking that guided me to the understanding that I needed to depend on God and to see that following His Will, even unknowingly, was what had preserved my life and brought me to a place where healing would take place

To celebrate the beginning: moving from my 34-year fragile, impermanent place as a part of an “ingathering” by my mother—from the slavery of the world, my “Egypt,” to relationship with God, my Father, freedom of Life in the Spirit . . . the Feast of Booths

for me,
a time every September when I purposefully experience and celebrate the meanings of my personal “Feast of Booths,” the big endings, the pain, the defeat, the darkness, the small beginnings of light and healing, the overwhelming faithfulness and Love of God

Now it is time to convert the roller coaster into a locomotive, making sure that the inspiration of the holiday season propels me to greater growth, learning and devotion in the year ahead. (read Psalm 113 – 118)

for more information about this holiday http://www.chabad.org/holidays/JewishNewYear/template_cdo/aid/4784/jewish/What-Is-Sukkot.htm

MISSING—SERIOUSLY:
benchmark—”a point of reference from which measurements may be made” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

For a time, I have felt that I am living in a world where it is hard to find “a benchmark,” to see a standard held up as a way to measure myself and others, to find any consistency to indicate adherence to any standard . . .
I feel insecure
with no guidelines applied to every scene.

When I look at the world around me, I seem to see only “exceptions” and “rationalizations” for people and behavior that would have been loudly condemned in years past . . .
I feel very concerned
with a standard that obviously changes to fit an individual’s agenda.

I have lived more than seven decades and, therefore, have seen many transitions in all areas of life—some I would call progress, but other trends I would call questionable in the terms of human development . . .
I feel confused,
like a kite in an ever-changing wind.

That is what has brought me to this place—a feeling of distress on the verge of hopelessness at times, a journey from knowing everything and being firmly convinced of my positions to the unrecognizable here and now . . . a place where I intend to pull from the experiences of myself and others to see if I can discover, or re-discover, a BENCHMARK, a point of reference from which measurements may be made—a foundation to lend stability to a heart tossed to and fro.

Are there concepts I can set up as guides to the path I walk that will allow me, no, compel me to accept or reject behaviors or philosophies?
Can I go forward without putting on “concrete boots” and always allow review with as little bias as possible while staying true to the spirit of my BENCHMARK?

It’s time to explore new territory or rather to look at territory with new eyes . . .
• to review where I have been,
• to assess the “potholes” in the path without judgement,
• to breathe in the adjustments of the journey, and
• to allow All to infuse and to excite each moment as Life reveals itself to me, through me, and in me—the joys, the sorrows, the smiles, the tears, the depths and the shallows.
May the eyes and ears of my heart be open . . .

“In the divine Scriptures, there are shallows and there are deeps; shallows where the lamb may wade, and deeps where the elephant may swim.”
― John Owen

I do not purport to be an expert
in anything . . . especially not in recounting history. However,
I do claim to have lived through
a period of time which, in
retrospect, seems connected somehow and very important to the current time I am living in
and, therefore, my observations  might prove interesting to some – unimportant to many – and,
maybe, insulting to others.
Just my opinions from my limited,
personal perspective,
just my opinions . . .
1960 to 2017

OVER Fifty years ago . . . in 1963, I was a junior in high school in High Point, North Carolina, sitting in class when the announcement came over the loudspeaker that the President of the United States had been shot and his condition was not known. An unbelievable shocked silence came over the people in that classroom that I can still remember today—it was like we couldn’t breathe because if we did, it would mean it was true and we knew it could not be true—  . . this was Camelot!

The first thing that seems important to me was the overwhelming feeling of HOPE . . . in 1960, oh, nobody thought things were perfect and yet, that was one of the reasons we were hopeful . . . because we recognized so many things we could improve. Call it the optimism of youth, but most of us were focused on believing we could make this world a better place for everybody— that each of us really could make a difference AND we had just elected a man who wanted to lead us on that journey! Granted this man wa not perfect either, but he inspired us to believe in ourselves, to believe in our dreams . . . to believe in Camelot!

In 1960, most of us were not blind to the flaws of our world at that time, but we were willing to step forward to work together to build a better world and to help each other live the “American dream”—NOT the materialistic one our parents had created, but the one in which money was NOT more important than time spent with family, one in which possessions were NOT more important than those intangibles like love and sharing and living life instead of accumulating things, one in which ALL people were treated as living, loving individuals NOT as things to be used or tossed aside or judged because they were different! Our vision was of a world where everyone had what they needed and everyone was respected for who they were beause we knew LOVE would do all it could to build bridges and to . . . bring everybody into Camelot!

were we unrealistic In 1960? a little, maybe . . . but I think we might have made it, IF . . . a government agency had not introduced LSD to some of our young people so they could experiment with it as a “truth” drug. Of course, the experiment failed and it was shown to be a dangerous drug, but the introduction of this hallucinogenic drug took with it the focus of those it enslaved and diverted the focus from our mission of building a world together to the self-centered pursuit of “pleasure” – which is always the lure of drugs that pulls people deeper and deeper into its dark world and makes them “comfortable” with lethargy resulting in a lack of motivation and . . . stops their journey to Camelot!

Of course, the “story” was always that the hippies and the counter-culture movements failed . . . which they did in that they failed to resist the lure of free drugs touted as a doorway to wonderful experiences, a way to explore “space” inside and outside your self, expand your consciousness. It was not proof that the non-materialistic philosophies based in unconditional love and acceptance would not work, it was proof that the subtlely of distractions is more effective at diverting and bringing defeat than any other method—it is insidious: “operating or proceeding in an inconspicuous or seemingly harmless way but actually with grave effect”—and, it is obviously being used to great effect in our current time . . . Only uniting and working together to overcome our struggles can offer any hope for us all and draw us back to a world where all can live and work together . . . . . . to build a real Camelot!

1961—January: the inauguration of the second youngest President in history of our country . . . (Theodore Roosevelt was the youngest) and the vim and vigor of JFK inspired the youth of this land to want to come together to make the entire world a better place! It was like believing there were current day “knights in white-shining armor” who would step in to rescue anyone in distress, even if they were flawed individuals . . . that caring about others required action and was always the right way to be . . . that sharing whatever we had would mean we would all have what we needed . . . that love was always the answer and anything we did should be motivated by love and that would make the world a better place for everyone . . . not a perfect place, but a better place and one in constant progress toward a better world, each day bringing us . . . a step closer to Camelot!

And then the story continued . . . more thoughts to come of deeper, darker times . . .

I have been SURPRISED
at some of my friends being deceived by the marketing rhetoric of Donald Trump –
I never thought that people raised to have basic manners, respect others, and not use foul language would be swept under the spell of a vulgar, immoral, racist, self-centered bigot who throws adolescent temper tantrums and shows open disrespect for anyone who is different from him and who seeks to destroy anyone who disagrees with him.
*******
I have been DISAPPOINTED
that many in this country have been so easily deceived into believing the marketing rhetoric of Donald Trump – all he has to do is repeat a “slogan” or a “catchy label” and it is repeated until it becomes “fact” (now called “alternative” facts)to all who want to follow someone to get what they want for themselves! Here’s a man who rationalizes cheating on his taxes, cheating on his wives, and cheating his employees as well as not paying debts he incurred with vendors and labels it “good business” – so it makes it okay!???
*******
I have been DEPRESSED
by the number of people claiming to believe in God and Jesus Christ who call this man a “savior” and who have embraced and defend a man who has made filthy statements about his behavior toward women, has openly stated his hatred of immigrants and foreigners, has made no secret of his admiration for dictators, and consistently stirs up crowds with language that seems to justify violence toward those who disagree with him, even saying his political opponent should be killed and our biggest enemy in the world couldn’t possibly be guilty of trying to interfere in our systems . . . and all of this without apology—living a life in direct opposition to the Message of God and the Life of Jesus Christ.
Now, don’t get me wrong — Trump is really good at marketing and seems to be really effective at manipulating people, BUT that just means he could, as an old saying puts it: “sell a freezer to an Eskimo”!

The basic idea behind marketing techniques is to convince people that they need something and make them willing to pay for it!
• One recognized technique is REPETITION—
repeat it often enough and loudly enough and it will
become accepted by those hearing it.
• Another marketing technique is to ADVERTISE the benefits of
what you are selling according to your target market and
UNDERMINE ANY CRITICISMS by making fun of whoever criticizes you,                            claim the source is false or the information is questionable.

Successful marketing does NOT change the message of a person’s life . . .

I live in the United States of America in a Southern state and I drink SWEET TEA and I really enjoy it—it’s the only way to drink tea!

Now I know that there are people out there who drink their tea unsweetened and there are even some who don’t drink tea at all—how sad!

So consider this . . . SWEET TEA supports the job market in many areas like sugar cane fields and the companies that process the sugar and the vendors who sell it and the ones who put it on the shelves in the stores—I feel really good about drinking SWEET TEA—it’s the right thing to do!

Of course, then there are those who drink their tea unsweetened, just plain tea, and I guess they could say they support the tea plantations, the companies that process the tea, the vendors who sell it, and the ones who put it on the shelves in the stores—yeah, that’s okay, I guess.

Then there are people who do not drink tea at all! Maybe they don’t care for the taste, maybe they have some sort of health issue that prevents them from drinking tea, or a religious belief that prohibits drinking tea, or some other reason, but they just don’t drink tea in any form—that’s a bummer!

That’s why living in the United States of America has always been different than other countries . . . the idea that each person should have the right to choose to drink SWEET TEA or unsweetened tea or no tea at all is a part of the basic “freedom” package.

SO . . . come on, folks . . . allowing each of us to choose how we drink our tea—SWEET TEA or unsweetened tea, or not at all—is what shows that we are willing to allow others to have the same freedom we want for ourselves.

I cannot demand a right for myself
that I am not willing to give to another.

Of course, trying to apply this concept to other subjects has proven to be almost impossible because of the intensity of emotions involved. Why?

Why can we not seem to be able to discuss issues with each other respectfully and with a willingness to listen to the other person’s views without flying into “angry defense mode” AND how did we reach the point of having to make all others conform to our view while we do not even consider theirs or ridicule it?

—
Think about this . . . hypothetical case:
I own a sports arena and I love SWEET TEA, so I sell it to people who come there to watch the competition AND, because I sell so much, the vendor gives me a break on the price for the product meaning I can sell it for less than others around me.

Then, a friend of mine is diagnosed with diabetes and starts having to watch his sugar intake. He can’t buy my SWEET TEA and that leaves him with no other options, but he has adjusted to drinking unsweetened tea and asks me if I would consider stocking it so he could drink some tea when he came to the arena. Well, I want to help my friend, so I start selling both SWEET TEA and unsweet tea.

Then, I get acquainted with a man who comes to the arena a lot and I notice he is not drinking anything while he is there and some of those days were very hot. I asked him about that and he said that he belongs to a group who believe it is sinful to drink tea of any kind because it harms the body. Well, I had never heard of that, so I gave it some thought and decided to ask him what he could drink and I would add that to my menu.

Things were really going along fine and everybody was able to enjoy drinking something during their visits to the arena . . . but, then someone came to me and said, “What are you doing wasting your money carrying all these drinks besides SWEET TEA? You know it is the most popular with most folks and you don’t have to carry those other drinks—it’s a waste of your money.”

So, I thought about it and he was right, but there were other things to consider, like my friend who had to restrict his sugar and my friend who had a religious conviction against tea, so I answered my objecting friend by explaining about consideration for the others and his response was quick: “So, are you going to let others tell you what to do? Are you going to waste your money for just a few people who probably don’t even spend that much with you? Do what YOU like—SWEET TEA and forget all that other stuff!”

The thought popped into my head . . . what if there was no SWEET TEA? What if there were only the other drinks and I couldn’t enjoy my SWEET TEA??? No, there was really nothing to consider . . . if I wanted to enjoy my SWEET TEA, I should be willing to let others enjoy what they could drink. I didn’t have to drink what they were drinking, I could drink my SWEET TEA . . . and that seemed fair to me!
Ah, the politics of SWEET TEA!