Jeanne H Barnett's Blog

My heart feels such a strong yearning for union with God that it is an actual stirring in the heart within my chest, a physical response mirroring my spirit’s deep longing . . .

I am drawn to the description of the Quaker approach
to worship:
   ‘WORSHIP, according to the ancient practice of the Religious Society of Friends, is entirely without any human direction or supervision. A group of devout persons come together and sit down quietly with no prearrangement, each seeking to have an immediate sense of divine leading and to know at first hand the presense of the Living Christ. It is not wholly accurate to say that such a Meeting is held on the basis of Silence; it is more accurate to say that it is held on the basis of ‘Holy Obedience.’ Those who enter such a Meeting can harm in two specific ways: first, by an advance determination to speak; and second, by advance determination to keep silent. The only way in which a worshipper can help such a Meeting is by an advance determination to try to be responsive in listening to the still small voice and doing whatever may be commanded. Such a Meeting is always a high venture of Faith and it is to this venture we invite you this hour.”

(The People Called Quakers, D. Elton Trueblood ©1966, Harper and Row edition 1966, Friends United Press edition, 1971)

To feel neither the constraint of not speaking nor the pressure of having to speak . . . it seems my human nature is not comfortable with “undefined time” and I tend to feel the need to schedule and have itineraries and know there is some person responsible for the flow of the time we spend together.

To be still and to allow that stillness to permeate my being . . . to fix the eyes of my heart on Jesus . . . to quell the activity of my mind . . . to hold without anxiety to my listening heart . . . to allow trust in God to flow as peace in me . . . to be open to an expression of that God presence, verbal or not . . . to allow the discomfort of total surrender to be washed away into that unfathomable depth that is God who draws me and longs for
relationship with me . . . amazing and totally unimaginable!

Recently I was discussing a “political” post on facebook with a friend of mine and a man (a stranger to me) inserted himself into our discussion and ended it by saying “STOP” and in a second post gave his motive as “debating theories and or perspectives should not be conducted in such that, it could confuse or halt young beginning Believers.”

I am VERY concerned about this stranger’s stated motive—not discussing hard issues young Believers might observe—it is my opinion that faith that is not tested or questioned is not a faith that can stand during hard times. I believe open discussions of hard issues should take place as long as the participants are respectful of each other. I believe that each of us go through many “tests of faith” in our lifetime and not examining why we believe what we believe or Who is the God we say we believe in is what will leave us stripped of the strength needed to walk daily through the trials and tribulations.

When I was growing up (LOTS of years ago), I was taught that it was the right thing to do to “search the Scriptures” to see if what I was being told lined up with the Word of God or to talk with an older believer about questions. However, as I reached upper teen years and into my twenties, there seemed to be a change in the way the Church taught and it became “bad” to question what you were told by the leadership and to search it out for yourself.

This is a major concern to me about this man’s statement because I believe young Believers should be encouraged to explore their “faith” searching the Scriptures for the Truth, seeking God’s Way through the world we live in, knowing that every situation we face is known to God and His promise is to never leave us nor forsake us AND to guide us—not to mention that we are told to “try the spirits” to see if they be from God. None of this is possible if we are not having the difficult discussions openly and allowing questions to be asked and answered and differing perspectives explored.

Not teaching “young believers” to question what they are told, to explore why they believe what they believe, to examine differing beliefs under the Light of God’s Word leaves them unequipped to face the darkness in our world and there are those who distort God’s Truth for their own reasons.

Each of us who claim to be “followers of God” should be confident coming into His throne room and saying, “Father, I don’t understand, please give me wisdom.” or even “Oh, God, I am so confused, guide me.” It should always be the Word of God that directs my steps, not my blind allegience to some leader, either secular or spiritual. Often, someone else’s experience can help me see an issue in a less biased way which is one reason we need each other and we need open exchanges of opinions–light always overcomes darkness SO bringing issues into the “light” of respectful, open exchanges of thoughts and questions removes the power of “darkness” to deceive.

Just for context: I do not claim to be able to read anyone’s heart, so I do not judge this man, but I have some problems with the rudeness and inappropriateness of stepping into a discussion you are not a part of and telling those involved that they cannot be involved in it either. Note: neither my friend nor I were being disrespectful to one another or doing any name calling, etc., this was really a discussion where we were sharing opinions as opinions and I was looking forward to hearing his thoughts and why he viewed it the way he did, but this stranger broke in after I had shared my perspective so I never got to hear the “reasons” behind my friend’s thoughts . . . sad.

Each day is filled with measurable units of time . . . 24 hours, each hour filled with 60 minutes; 1,440 minutes, each minute filled with 60 seconds, and I have come to realize that each of those time periods is filled with moments. It is the moments I recall more often than the hours or days and I am just beginning to become aware of how important it is to pay attention to the moments in each day.

I came across some pictures I took November 22, 2012, at Lockwood Park in Newport, Arkansas, and it really illustrated the impact of choosing what to pay attention to in the collection of what I saw that day, thoughts that came to me as I reviewed the images, and the realization that I miss SO much as I go through a day!

This brought me to the thought that Life should be a story of moments . . . it’s all about perspective—-how you see each moment as you slow down and pause each moment, explore each moment, and live each moment fully, it will impact you differently than the usual rushed “fly-by” moments—-perspective gained through choices made . . . moment by moment

I was in a store with my parents this week and the clerk was extremely rude! We had put all of our purchases in one basket, but at the checkout, I pulled mine out first and left the items mom and dad were going to pay for in the basket. The clerk started by demanding that we bring the basket up to her and when I tried to explain that the items left in the buggy were to be paid for separately—her response: she started slamming items around and muttering under her breath. There followed more criticism and strong, angrily spoken words regarding the ID. My mom has trouble dealing with negative talk and I could tell she and I were both getting irritated by this clerk.

I stepped up beside the clerk and spoke VERY firmly . . . “I’m sorry you’re having such a BAD day!” My attitude was not right, I can assure you. I stepped back and helped move some of mom and dad’s things from  their basket and then walked forward to stand by my basket at the end of the checkout. As the clerk finished ringing up mom and dad’s items, she stepped toward me and I figured I was now going to get some more rudeness; however, instead she apologized!!! She said she was sorry that she had taken out on us her anger with her employer who was asking her to stay and work extra hours, but was then cutting her total hours overall until she would have trouble paying her bills and she resented the way they were using her. I responded that I was sorry for her situation and she told me she appreciated that I had just spoken to her and had not verbally abused her as many had in her 8 years of working there and she expressed that she did not  feel that she got any respect.

As I left that store, I knew God had given me a great parable . . . even though my words were not spoken to her with the right attitude, in fact, I was actually trying to let her know how rude she was (I guess that makes sense, huh? Be rude to her so she would recognize her own rudeness??? Yeah, right!) I was convicted that God had blessed that clerk through me in spite of me = He was faithful even when I wasn’t!

I pray that in the future I will remember this incident and respond to someone I think is being rude to me with the mind of Christ–realizing that the person is probably going through some tough time and the odds are that I would not react any better if I were going through the same situation. Do unto others as I would have them do unto me . . . feel compassion when I see another acting bad . . . allow God to flow His Love through me without judgment.

October 2010

Friday—October 23, 2015 My thoughts

ANGER

In my opinion, anger is about “control” and control is about protecting “ownership.” However, not all situations are the same and each must be looked at and an appropriate response formulated. These are just some examples from my own life and, obviously, there are those instances when “my solutions” might not be the right response. Also, none of these are life-threatening or potentially physically-harming situations—those are a whole different ballgame.

Stranger/Public: I can remember becoming VERY angry at someone who was not driving in a safe way and could have caused harm to me—but, I could not control that person or change his/her behavior.

Acquaintance/Work: I can remember becoming VERY angry some years ago at a young lady who came into my work environment repeatedly and took over in a number of areas that I was responsible for—but, I could not control that person or change her behavior.

Family/Private-Public: I can remember becoming VERY angry in some family situations where one person pushed her selfish agenda ahead of considerations for and respect for other family members—but, I could not control that person or change her behavior.
—

There are many examples of my feeling angry, but the above kind of give some insight into the main pieces of my “angry pie”—someone in some situation I cannot control. Whether it is a total stranger, an acquaintance, or a family member, the common thread is “control” and the resulting frustration at not being able to “fix” the situation, so I bite into the “angry pie” again and again.

Currently, in the driving scene, you know you can’t try to fix it or express your frustration because the other person may have a gun and might use it.
My solution: I carry an “anger animal,” a small stuffed animal that I can pick up, shake hard and shout at without anyone being the wiser because I hold it in the hand on my center console so it can’t be seen. When I have finished my angry tirade, the cuteness of the animal overrides my negative emotions and I usually tell the”anger animal” that I’m sorry for letting my emotions get out of control . . . ah, much better, breathe, maybe laugh!

In the work scene, I finally stopped to ask myself some difficult questions . . . why was I trying to “protect” my projects? why was she inserting herself into that position?
My solution: “let go” and trust that God would continue to provide for me and consider that perhaps she was so insecure/unfulfilled, she felt she had to force her way in because she envied me and/or my situation.

In the family scene, the most difficult in my opinion, I spent many hours resenting the impact of this person’s choices including putting herself “up front” displacing and disrespecting older family members and “competing” with their contributions over the years, ultimately destroying the basic family – no relationships are the same and we only have memories of past fun times as a “family.”
My solution: I know it may sound like a cliche, but PRAYER was the only thing that brought me to a place where I could “forgive” this person and eventually change my focus to:
–I can trust that God can and will work in ALL things for my good,
–God’s plans often take years and work in ways I cannot understand, –God’s ways are always intended to result in benefits to ALL
I cannot possibly assess howw God has worked in this person’s heart over the years, but I can assess the positive impact in my own heart of releasing this to God and trusting His Love, wisdom, and power resulting in my peace.

SUMMARY: My anger arises most strongly when I feel the need to “protect” and when I feel unable to “control” another.

My most successful solution has been to turn my focus to examining my own heart (why am I so upset?) and looking at possible “excuses” for the behavior of the other person (what is missing in his/her life?) and then getting back to the basic Truth that God has promised to provide ALL I need and to protect me . . .

When I am afraid,
I will put my trust in You.
In God, whose word I praise,
In God I have put my trust;
I shall not be afraid.
What can mere man do to me?
(Psalm 56:3-4)
AND
reading the story of Joseph always helps me refocus on WHO is in charge and how HIS plans are amazing as they unfold
(Genesis 45:1-8)
My final solution: Trust God
“Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.
Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.
(Psalm 37:7-8)

ANGER MANAGEMENT:
And my God
will supply all your needs
according to His riches
in glory in Christ Jesus.
Now to our God and Father
be the glory forever and ever.
Amen. (Philippians 4:19-20)

Many TV shows I’ve watched lately have a lot in common: home remodeling, income properties, hoarders, organizing clutter . . . first identify and clear out the old that needs to be removed and then go forward and build!

Examine everything to determine

• what should go in the “trash” bin,

• what should go in the “keep” bin,

• what should go in the “share” bin . . .

Somehow that sounds like a good process . . . starting with the old tapes in my head—

see what needs to be removed, kept, shared, and then go forward!

Jeanne Hicks Barnett thoughts — November 1, 2014

You will make known to me the path of life . . . Psalm 16:11

Just listened to a song titled “Brave” that said “I wanna see you be brave” and “Say what you wanna say, And let the words fall out.” While I understand the need to sometimes encourage others to not let circumstances overwhelm them. . . the song seems to promote a theme which I hear a lot—an emphasis on SELF-sufficiency (taking care of yourself), and I heard NO hint of depending on God as the source of the strength you need to be brave leaving the listener to conclude the strength to be brave comes from himself/herself.
—We humans are good at making “to DO lists” and we forget that what we need are “to BE lists” knowing that God is the one who completes that list: “For I am confident of this very thing, that HE who began a good work in you will perfect it” (Philippians 1:6)—music is a powerful teaching tool and we should be careful about the message we take in as we listen to and even repeat the lyrics.
—Psalm 96 says “ascribe TO THE LORD” glory, strength, the glory of His name, and to worship and tremble before THE LORD. Jeremiah 17 says “cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength.” Our world constantly pushes us to SELF promote and to depend on ourselves for answers, but God’s Word says just the opposite, i.e., “Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord which HE will accomplish for you today” (Exodus 14:13 at the dividing of the sea), “you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is HE who is giving you power to make wealth” (Deuteronomy 8:18 before entering “promised land”), “You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of THE LORD on your behalf” (2 Chronicles 20:16 answer to Jehoshaphat’s Prayer) & “My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, then My servants would be fighting” (John 18:35 Jesus re his crucifixion). Maybe I’m being a little picky, but I want to be very careful about planting thoughts in my heart that I should attribute to my SELF what should be attributed to God because my flesh always wants me to “displace” God (Genesis 3:5), pride trying to sneak in, sounds like me . . . me . . . me—-or like my 2-year-old self sounded.

A friend, a family member . . . making bad choices & you can’t support those bad choices so you try to talk to them & they just reject you & get angry—you feel hurt & don’t know what to do . . . sadly, they feel the same way.
I’ve been the person making the bad choices before, so I know from experience that the anger came from the very real pain I felt & I couldn’t understand why others thought I was being dumb or foolish or any of the other words they used to try to shame me into not doing what
I was doing.
I am sure the people around me meant well & were trying to help me avoid some of the ultimate pain of those bad choices which I could not see at the time, so I resented their “interference.”
I don’t think any of the “advice” made a difference in my bad choices . . . I was determined to do what I wanted to do, BUT it did make a difference that God was there waiting for me when the darkness forced me to turn around & He was drawing me back to Him with His Love, actually had never stopped trying to draw me back & that was the part I came to realize and that made the difference in my life.
I may have walked away from God & taken some paths that were not good for me or others, but God never left me nor forsook me & that is the amazing grace that still brings hope to the darkest situation!!!
Foolishness IS a choice . . . but
NOTHING can separate me from the Love of God—
that may look like foolishness,
but it is the wisdom of a God who loves us SO much
He will pursue us to the end and I, for one,
am very glad He did!

Been there . . . done that!

Yelling  . . . screaming . . . angry to the max! Yep, that’s what was happening in my car for many years—until I realized the only one being impacted by my outbursts was me, sometimes for hours or days after the “incident” I would experience the effects of this stress, mentally and physically.

One of the worst incidents was when a van went straight ahead in the right-turn-only lane on Race street by Wendy’s and sped up and cut in front of me so close I had to hit my brakes to keep from hitting it AND there were several kids inside! I hadn’t noticed this lady until she cut over right in front of me, so at first I was startled . . . then I was struck with the fact she almost caused damage to me . . . and then I was angry because she was responsible for those kids in her van. My flesh responses welled up inside of me SO intense, fueled by all those thoughts running through my head and I decided to stay right with that van until it reached a destination. What I really wanted to do was get in the woman’s face and scream at her, let her know she had no right to put me at risk of vehicle damage or injury and those kids . . . WOW! what was she thinking???

The van pulled into the WalGreen’s parking lot and I stopped at the entrance to watch as she pulled into a parking place and got out looking as if she had no idea what she had risked to get ahead by one spot in the line of traffic and maybe get to the parking place 20 seconds faster than if she had gotten in the correct lane and taken her turn as everyone else did! I stared at her with the meanest look I could muster and rolled down my window with the idea of speaking to this “person,” to maybe even do the “citizen’s arrest” thing for the “scared straight” impact!

As I thought through my options, I realized that it probably would have no impact on this woman or her future behavior, so I slowly moved forward and out of the parking lot. As I drove by her, it seemed like there was a little look of anxiety in her eyes, maybe because she knew I was angry, maybe because she had some situation in her own life that was not good, maybe because she figured this “crazy” who had followed her here was going to run over her. In any event, God used this incident to give me a new “coping skill.”

If you look in my car, you will see on the console a stuffed prayer lamb (Beth-le-lamb) and a St. Patrick’s Day small creature who laughs when you squeeze his tummy and who serves as the reminder of my “road rage blessing.” When some driver in the throes of that very common “self-centered, dangerous me-first” mentality that causes so many accidents invades my space, I grab my creature, shaking it at the offender and shout however loudly I need to: “GOD BLESS YOU as only HE can!” Squeezing the creature’s tummy, I feel my intensity lessening and my mind returning to the Truth that only God can make any difference in a person’s heart–it derails me from that track of negative, angry thoughts and reminds me He calls me to think on a different list of thoughts . . . ones that reflect His nature: true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good report, excellent, worthy of praise . . . and sanity returns to my mind, and peace starts building in my heart, and I take a deep breath to remind me of the flow of God’s Grace through my entire being, through the entire world . . . and, yes, even for that woman!