I WILL WALK FORWARD
(in remembrance of September 11, 2001)

I will walk forward
from this moment in time,
……..but this moment will never be far
…………away from me;
……..I will take up the task of living
…………each day, mixed with the pain of
…………the images of horror I see.
With so much mourning in so many
……..hearts there seems to be no room
……..for a personal grief—
Bitter tears threaten to fall at almost
……..any time
……….as a nation,
…………as a people,
…………..as a person cannot find relief.

I will walk forward from this moment in time,
searching for some shred of yesterday’s song
……..Clutching at memories of those
…………who are gone, trying to move them
…………out of the shadows of the wrong;
Looking for light to drive out the spectre
……..of the evil hanging over our hearts
……..so we can be strong;
Searching for answers in images of
……..twisted steel,
…………rubble and smoke,
…………….knowing it doesn’t belong.

I will walk forward from this moment in time
……..praising God for all those who did not die;
……..Being thankful for those who placed a call
………..to loved ones and friends with a final goodbye.
……..No words can describe the helpless feelings inside or
………..push away the darkness of fear from the sky;
……..But I know God is wanting to comfort and heal,
……..so I’ll tell Him I’m angry and know He hears my cry.

I will walk forward from this moment in time
……..with an anger that’s risen and refuses to fall—
……..Wanting to lash out at those faceless criminals
……….and make them suffer the pain they caused us all.
……..But I don’t want to be like them in any way,
………..so I’ll look to the heavens where God hears my call
……..and beg Him to touch me and heal my sore being
……..and guide us to the course where we can stand tall.

As I walk forward from this moment in time,
I ask above all, God, that you open our eyes—
That we might not be guilty of doing what’s wrong
…or of doing what’s worse than those we loudly criticize;
That from the ashes, love will grow–
…hate spawn forgiveness;
…..from meaningless violence,
…..commitment to all heart cries;
For it is only in sharing, loving
and giving ourselves that our hearts are cleansed
…and demons exorcised.

God, help me walk forward from this moment in time;
…help me to not ever forget what’s happened here.
Help me remember that hate drove these people—
…that someone believed they had to throw the spear.
Hold my heart close to yours, God, so love overflows
…and constantly reminds me You’re bigger than my fear.
Remind me that as long as one person is harmed
…because of being different from another—You shed a tear.

I will
……walk
………..forward
……………as a part of this moment in time . . .

Sunday—September 16, 2001
Jeanne Hicks Barnett—Searcy, Arkansas

When I first read your post, I was SO angry –
but then I remembered
that every hill I have to climb
is to draw me closer to my God
(the only one that really matters)
and struggles and unfair criticisms can help me
recognize any flaws within myself
(no matter how small I think they are)
and give me
an opportunity to build up “Grace points” —
God promises to flow in more
than I need, so I’m going for the limit!

SO, say your worst . . .
hurl your hatred and meanness at me . . .
maybe you will feel better after doing that,
maybe you will feel self-righteous pride
for having done it . . .
and maybe I will answer you
or maybe not—
BUT I will pray for you and
I will pray for me
that each of us will be given wisdom,
that each of us will be led by God,
that each of us will be a tool in the Master’s hand
to build a better world for each of us . . .

thoughts—January 31, 2017 Jeanne Hicks Barnett • photo August 2015

CORE VALUES . . . what are my core values? What does that mean?

It means trying to decide what I believe, the really important fundamental ideas that govern how I act and how I react—it seems like trying to identify each piece in a dish of spaghetti!

Now seems like a very good time to STOP and for each of us to take a good LOOK at that inner chamber that controls the voices we LISTEN to, but rarely question.

Do I react to certain people or events in a negative way and other people or events in a positive way without even knowing the people or being a part of the events? Have I ever stopped to ask myself why? Is it even possible for me to confront myself honestly, to examine any mask that might be “justifying” my feelings? Can I stop justifying my feelings and examine them and where they came from without judgement so I can choose to accept them or reject them based on who I am now?

The first discussion needs to be ME with ME . . . honest, open examination of me by me and then I can own my “core values” and live by them because I know what they are and why they are important to me . . . it sounds simple and right, BUT removing masks can be very difficult and painful . . .

may God give me the strength and wisdom to walk forward

August 26, 2014 at 6:58 AM · getting dressed . . .
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in HIS mighty power” is our focus
BEFORE we are told
“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. “ (Ephesians 6:11)

If we think this is OUR strength, we have missed the context, like when Saul put his armor on the young David to prepare David for battle & it didn’t fit David, so he went forward without Saul’s armor . . .
in the strength of the Lord.
“. . . that all this assembly may know that the Lord does not deliver by sword or by spear; for the battle is the Lord’s . . .” (1 Samuel 17:47)

“truth buckled around your waist” (waist/stomach holds what you consume & a belt-pack around your waist can protect your stomach & hold provisions for your future);
—consume only Truth (mouth speaks what heart is full of)
—Truth exposes choice between “flesh” and “spirit”
—belt protects what you have “consumed” to Live
—belt around your waist holds what you need to survive – all pockets should be filled with Truth (meditate on His Word day & night)

“breastplate of righteousness in place” (Abraham believed God & it was credited to him as righteousness-Romans 4:4-8–breastplate protects heart & internal organs);
—breastplate is a protective device designed to also deflect attacks
—righteousness is a gift of God = right standing with our Father is not earned but follows our “believing God”
—believe God, depend on God, know God

“feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace” (peace results from knowing we can depend on God–Philippians 4:4-8, Exodus 14:13-14)
—peace comes from knowing God’s power takes care of His creation; He is faithful & will never leave us or forsake us
—the “good news” is that the Prince of Peace has come

“take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (the word of God cuts through the deceptions of the forces of darkness–1 Peter 1 a living hope & a sure salvation)
—my head (mind) knows God has saved me & it protects my mind
from others who would draw me into serving other things/beliefs
—the Word of God cuts through the deceptions of the enemies of God
and tells me who I really am because of who God Is
Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Bottom line: GOD is my armor . . . GOD is TRUTH . . . GOD is RIGHTEOUSNESS . . . GOD is PEACE . . . GOD is The WORD . . . GOD IS . . .

“Lord, there is no one besides You to help in the battle between the powerful and those who have no strength; so help us, O Lord our God, for we trust in You, and in Your name have come against this multitude. O Lord, You are our God; let not man prevail against You.” (2 Chronicles 14:11)

‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ says the Lord of hosts. (Zechariah 4:6)

With every thought that comes into our minds,
we have a choice . . . accept it or reject it.

Too often, we follow along with an initial thought only to find ourselves buried with other thoughts that seem to tag along with it without stopping to consider that we have a choice to make at the very beginning—when it first enters our conscious sphere—stop it at the door before it gets completely in and “filter” it.

The choice should be made first not later when we have followed a thought to its resulting anxiety, worry, anger, frustration, depression, etc., and then wonder how we got there. The choice to accept or reject is either made at the first appearance or after we have suffered the consequences of acceptance. You cannot simply allow a thought to come in; “no decision” is a decision in itself. If you do not reject it, you have accepted it—your choice!

If I tell you that Chester is a dog, you will quickly reject that thought immediately! Why? Why would you not think about that statement?

What if I told you that you were being deceived because Chester is really a dog with cat fur on him. Would you be drawn to consider this potential deception and waste time wallowing among the thoughts that come after accepting the first one? After all, he has 4 legs—dogs have 4 legs. He is an animal—dogs are animals. Maybe you should be worried that you are not protecting yourself from some devious plot intended to lead you into some harmful situation. Whoa! This could be serious . . . maybe you were too quick to accept what you think you see, maybe he’s not really what he appears to be! Sure, you’ve been happy petting Chester and interacting with him, laughing at his ways and you’ve given to him, fed him and provided him with a place to live. But, he’ll die someday and what if he bites you, what if . . .

NO! You would not follow that first thought anywhere! Why??? Because you “know” Chester is a cat. In the same way, we need to “know” capital “T” Truths of God. This does not mean to just memorize some Scripture, it means to “know” God intimately and walk by His Spirit. Our flesh is in an ongoing battle with the Spirit for control of our thoughts, because thoughts dictate our actions, and can lead us to rob ourselves of blessings God intends for us.

Only as we walk by the Spirit, hold fast the capital “T” Truths of God, fix our eyes on Jesus, and pursue God-dependency will see that God claimed that battle and subsequent victory for Himself. He will allow us to struggle in the battle until we finally realize we can’t win it because He has not made us to be robots . . . He wants us to choose Him and His Covenant (protection, provision, identity). He calls us to a conscious choice: to walk by His Spirit because we trust Him.

So, it is back to “thoughts & choices” where at times the only answer I can give is—bottom line, trust God! Whatever thought comes into my mind must pass through this filter. I make a conscious effort, an intentional choice, to ask myself if this thought will glorify God and either show that I trust God or lead me to a deeper trust in God. If the answer is “no” or “well, I don’t know,” then I reject it and pull into my conscious mind a positive thought or Scripture—if possible, I relate it to the thought as Jesus did in His temptations in the wilderness where He gave God’s capital “T” Truth in response to the fleshly yearnings brought to His consciousness as choices.

It wasn’t that He didn’t feel the pull to follow the thoughts, it was that Jesus chose to state God’s capital “T” Truth—He did not argue with the thoughts or deny any element of truth, He simply chose to state God’s Truth as a response. We get into the most trouble when we try to “rationalize” or respond within the context of the thoughts. When the thought comes that I don’t have health insurance, followed by what if I get sick or need to go to the hospital? I don’t walk that path, I simply state that my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). When I awake in the middle of the night and can’t breathe, I no longer follow the thoughts that come to me of death and illness, I claim that by His stripes I am healed (1 Peter 2:24) no matter what my “little t” truth looks like—I’m not denying reality, simply choosing to focus on another reality—God’s Truth! My choice!

The hardest things are the simplest Truths of God—
to rest in the knowledge of His care and Love for us
without demanding that we be able to “think through” or
explain how or why,
rejecting any thought that doesn’t stand with God’s capital “T” Truth . . .
bottom line, Trust God . . . it is a choice.

Choices—”I call heaven and earth to witness against you, today,
that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse.
So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants,
by loving the Lord your GOD, by obeying HIS voice, and by holding
fast to HIM; for this is the your life and the length of your days that
you may live in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers . . .”
Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Focus—Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
“The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth
what is good; and the evil {man} out of the evil {treasure} brings forth
what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.”                                                   Luke 6:45

Response—When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,
Thy consolations delight my soul. Psalm 94:19
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.                         Psalm 139:23-24

Contentment is a byproduct of focus . . .
and focus follows my choice of thoughts!       Hebrews 12

Jeanne Hicks Barnett • Saturday—July 21, 2007

I was drawn into this “project” by some dear friends of ours by an invitation in a Facebook post (August 3, 21016 – Shawn Whitney with Katie Nichols Whitney) and my response was:
—LOVE PROMOTION project
sounds like such a really good idea
so I will respond to the challenge to participate . . .
my first thoughts are to put forth what I feel is
my understanding of “love”
through the prism of my life with Marcus

love requires a
willingness to make a commitment that makes it possible to work through the difficult times,
the challenges, the dark times, the tough growth experiences . . . the days when it is hard
not to walk away or when the desire to throw something or punch someone is overwhelming, to get to those really great times—
Marcus has demonstrated commitment to a degree seldom seen,
commitment you can count on
. . . all of his life!

DAY TWO: love promotion project as a teen, Marcus worked at his dad’s car lot and was responsible enough to carry the business checkbook . . . he developed a love for cars & music from the 60s and learned the rewards of hard work, –he has continued to combine a willingness to work hard and to show appreciation for what he loves— he has taught me a lot! Love is patient . . . Love is kind . . .

DAY THREE: love promotion project Marcus has always loved music and most people don’t know he plays the guitar and sings and has written songs— Coach Groover introduced us at Camp Wyldewood during a retreat when he suggested we sing together at the “talent show,” so we sang “If I Had a Hammer” and that was the beginning of our life together—I don’t remember much about the talent show, but I do remember the fun we had getting to know each other. We “snuck” off to Andy’s (where Arby’s is now) after the show & got a burger because we couldn’t eat before we sang. After we got married & moved to Austin, Texas, we sang the worship songs Marcus had written (for our church family & others)–they were such a blessing to me. Early in our marriage, my brothers & I were still fulfilling commitments to perform as the Chuck Hicks Band and Marcus always seemed to enjoy my enjoyment of singing with my family with no hint of jealousy on his part and, of course, he sometimes played along–a little over a year ago, Marcus taught himself to play the harmonica & does a great job of entertaining me each morning . . . Marcus has taught me a lot about Love! Love is not jealous . . . love does not brag and is not arrogant . . .

DAY FOUR: love promotion project How a person treats others, especially friends, tells you a lot about them because real friendship requires give AND take— SHARING special times with others, becoming family; it means food, fun and fellowship . . . but most of all it means CARING with no conditions through times of joy and laughter and tears . . . it means opening your heart and guarding the hearts of others as you share dreams and successes and challenges and gain the strength that comes from friendship . . . decades of friendships that have blessed us so much there is no way to name you all (didn’t have room for all the faces, but you know who you are)— Marcus has taught me a lot about Love and Friendship and so have YOU! Love does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered . . .

DAY FIVE: love promotion project family . . . sometimes the best times and sometimes the worst— but it is not just biology that makes a family . . . it’s relationship. Because family is family, you have to work through whatever or go through life without that person or group in your life and that always hurts – either way! Marcus lost his parents in 1977 & 1979 and an older sister in 1956, so I didn’t get the opportunity to meet them and I wish I could have sat down with them and talked about life, gained from their experiences. Marcus has a twin sister (fraternal, not identical) and my parents have “adopted” Marcus plus I have two younger brothers and a really large extended family—we have three beautiful daughters with their husbands & children . . . but, alas most of our family live far away. Marcus has taught me a lot about family . . . loyalty, devotion, “blindness,” forgiveness, perseverance, and the ultimate rewards of unconditional love! Love does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth…

DAY SIX: love promotion project marriage . . . before our first wedding, I was living in Austin, Texas (due to a job promotion), so I had to take a flight back to Searcy and on that flight I wrote a letter to myself listing all the “reasons” I loved Marcus and the areas I thought would be challenging to me. Over the years of our marriage, I had to refer to that letter to put our relationship back in context—like after the “towel-folding incident” or the “Star Trek-the Original Movie event” or the multiple “You What? expose” times or the monumental “God, You do it, I can’t” decision! The most important moment for me was when I made the commitment to allow God to make me who He wanted me to be and to allow God to do the same for Marcus (taking myself off that job). As I stood before God with each AND every “problem” that arose instead of trying to “fix” it myself, I noticed that Marcus got easier to get along with and we were having much less negative interaction—amazing! Through all of my years of “growth experiences,” Marcus stayed constant and steady—yes, surprisingly, he stayed and taught me the ultimate Truth that all relationships rooted in God meant God was the center, the first step always, the love reflected in each of us, the compassion for each other, the forgiveness and mercy, the reason . . . marriage is not an easy path, but it can work when Love bears all things . . . believes all things . . . hopes all things . . . endures all things

DAY SEVEN: love promotion project overview . . . To love someone. What does it mean?—there are as many answers to that question as there are people to answer it. My answer would be a reflection of my life. I have loved in many ways, sometimes very unsuccessfully, sometimes selfishly, and I have loved to many different levels in my heart including experiencing infatuation and superficial, but often painful emotions. I have been beaten down, I have cried in the darkness of agony so deep it could not be put into words, and I have found the light of day painful . . . but, I have also experienced the overwhelming joy of healing and the life flow of love from someone who really cared about me and that made me want to bring that to others, to share the hope of a future that makes it possible to take even just a tiny step forward into the Light of another day . . . because I have seen that through the valleys and the mountains, through the sunshine and the rain, through the failures of my human nature and the strength of my inner spirit, all of life is a victory when it opens ME to a better understanding of love and sharing all of that with others, friends, family, or spouses shows me that LOVE NEVER FAILS . . . But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the GREATEST of these IS LOVE . . .

WHEN DID GOD STOP ME IN MY TRACKS . . .
        turning me aside from whatever
                   I was focused on . . .
          forcing me to look to Him . . .
BUT I fell on my face and cried out
   “Why have You forsaken me?”
I COULDN’T SEE ANYTHING BUT ME . . .
—————————————–
How did God get Moses’ attention?
He stopped Moses in his tracks
   when Moses was headed
   on his own mission . . .
God chose a burning bush
   because it couldn’t be missed,
Moses couldn’t avoid seeing it . . .

In my life, I look back & see there were times
when I was stopped in my tracks . . .
when I was turned aside from where I thought
I was headed . . . when I was forced to either
look to God or question His faithfulness . . .
I chose to turn from the burning bush
and fall into the darkness of pain & fear . . .
how many times did I miss “My Burning Bush,”
my opportunity to meet with God and
drink from the fountain of Living Water in the midst of my desert? . . .
I’ve lost count,
BUT I choose to stop now,
I choose to stand still,
to take my sandals off &
I choose to listen for the Voice of God
coming from the midst of all those missed, past opporunities . . .
God IS faithful and HE never
gives up drawing me into His Presence
. . . My Burning Bush,
waiting to reveal Himself to me & in me . . .

Jeanne Hicks Barnett • September 23, 2014 •

Each day I am confronted with challenges . . .
• which voice do I listen to
• how do I shut out all the chaos
• what holds my focus
• who directs my steps
• when should I fight, retreat, stand still

Challenges with outside forces and challenges with inside forces that seem to have me constantly being blown about like a ship looking for that “anchor” to hold me steady or that “rudder” or a “tiller” to set my direction — daily challenges like huge waves overwhelming me and threatening to send me to the bottom of murky, deep waters.

As I feel propelled ahead mindlessly on my lifepath, I realize I must start with the end! Where do I want to end up, what is my desired destination?

SO, my first need is for an anchor – something to hold me in place while I explore the inside of me for an answer to the “where” question and I am immediately aware of the answer . . . PEACE! My anchor: find my place of PEACE.

YES! Peace comes from an awareness of provision and protection, something bigger than me and wiser and stronger . . . step inside and see where I came from, what I have come through, how did I survive times in the darkest pits, who am I now? . . . all of those questions should bring me to PEACE because I AM HERE NOW and that can only be by some power beyond my understanding. PEACE because I could not possibly have come to this point by my own “smarts” and whatever or whoever has sustained me to this point will do the same as I seek to find that source of provision and protection beyond SELF, beyond EGO . . . my anchor, my PEACE on my lifepath is the obvious unseen power that has brought me here, now.

PEACE . . . an anchor as I contemplate my path . . .

I understand and heartily applaud the motive and the heart of the individual who wrote the “slogan” on the board Sunday morning. However, I feel it necessary to point out the inherent danger reflected by its wording.

“I will do more in ‘94”

This sounds so good and it seems to be an admirable goal – but, I cannot but feel uncomfortable with anything which seems to indicate that an individual, by gathering will and mustering determination, can accomplish anything of the slightest import – nor do I think it unscriptural to point out a caution to speak in such a manner:

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow, we shall go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.’ Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.
Instead, you ought to say, ‘If the Lord will, we shall live and also do this or that.’ But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil.” (James 4:13-16)

Would it not be far better to adopt as a slogan a statement that includes God as the source of our ability or the object of our focus.

Anytime someone says, “It is not my intention . . .”, it normally prefaces a statement which does exactly what they state is not their intention; but, it is not my intention to be nit-picking. I have been strongly convicted as of late of the emphasis within people who claim to belong to God to “cut God out” of not only the glory which is rightfully His, but also the place He occupies and the empowerment that He alone can give. Until we can begin to have some slight understanding of the flesh without God, we will not be able to begin to grasp the consistent need for us as stiff-necked and uncircumcised of heart to bow before the awesomeness of God and stop claiming the ability to function independently of our Maker.

If our words reflect our hearts, then I think it would well behoove us to begin giving God His place in our words and hope the process would infect our hearts as well.

There is a fine line between the practice of humanism and Christianity and sometimes, I think, we unconsciously vacillate between the two – I know I cross that line frequently without being aware of it.

I pray that God may so sensitize our hearts that
we will feel the “grieving of the Holy Spirit”
when we proclaim ˆour successes and
fail to give credit where credit is due –
when we forget the Source of power –
when we are puffed up
with our own intelligence and accomplishments
and cannot find the heart to humble before the Lord.

January 4, 1994