One Day . . . Heart Thoughts . . . 09/11

I WILL WALK FORWARD
(in remembrance of September 11, 2001)

I will walk forward
from this moment in time,
……..but this moment will never be far
…………away from me;
……..I will take up the task of living
…………each day, mixed with the pain of
…………the images of horror I see.
With so much mourning in so many
……..hearts there seems to be no room
……..for a personal grief—
Bitter tears threaten to fall at almost
……..any time
……….as a nation,
…………as a people,
…………..as a person cannot find relief.

I will walk forward from this moment in time,
searching for some shred of yesterday’s song
……..Clutching at memories of those
…………who are gone, trying to move them
…………out of the shadows of the wrong;
Looking for light to drive out the spectre
……..of the evil hanging over our hearts
……..so we can be strong;
Searching for answers in images of
……..twisted steel,
…………rubble and smoke,
…………….knowing it doesn’t belong.

I will walk forward from this moment in time
……..praising God for all those who did not die;
……..Being thankful for those who placed a call
………..to loved ones and friends with a final goodbye.
……..No words can describe the helpless feelings inside or
………..push away the darkness of fear from the sky;
……..But I know God is wanting to comfort and heal,
……..so I’ll tell Him I’m angry and know He hears my cry.

I will walk forward from this moment in time
……..with an anger that’s risen and refuses to fall—
……..Wanting to lash out at those faceless criminals
……….and make them suffer the pain they caused us all.
……..But I don’t want to be like them in any way,
………..so I’ll look to the heavens where God hears my call
……..and beg Him to touch me and heal my sore being
……..and guide us to the course where we can stand tall.

As I walk forward from this moment in time,
I ask above all, God, that you open our eyes—
That we might not be guilty of doing what’s wrong
…or of doing what’s worse than those we loudly criticize;
That from the ashes, love will grow–
…hate spawn forgiveness;
…..from meaningless violence,
…..commitment to all heart cries;
For it is only in sharing, loving
and giving ourselves that our hearts are cleansed
…and demons exorcised.

God, help me walk forward from this moment in time;
…help me to not ever forget what’s happened here.
Help me remember that hate drove these people—
…that someone believed they had to throw the spear.
Hold my heart close to yours, God, so love overflows
…and constantly reminds me You’re bigger than my fear.
Remind me that as long as one person is harmed
…because of being different from another—You shed a tear.

I will
……walk
………..forward
……………as a part of this moment in time . . .

Sunday—September 16, 2001
Jeanne Hicks Barnett—Searcy, Arkansas

About Jeanne

a work in progress . . . God's grace has brought me through many traumas of varying intensities and I am alive today (both physically & spiritually) because of Him and His work: "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus"-Philippians 1:6. My childhood was spent living in many places in the United States due to my family's music or ministry—The Hicks Family, made up of Olan & Barbara Hicks, my younger brothers, Clint & Chuck & me, sang in different combos (put out an album), does so no longer professionally . . . but, visit a family gathering in Searcy & you're bound to hear some foot-tapping sounds (or catch my dad & mom on the road)! I believe that every moment of each life path (the good & what I perceive as the bad) God works together for my good as His child whether I understand it or not. MUSIC and MINISTRY are still primary aspects of the path God has me walking—so exciting! Words that have encouraged me since 1980: ". . . giving them a garland instead of ashes,The oil of gladness instead of mourning,The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting So they will be called oaks of righteousness,The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified." Isaiah 61:3
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