Making Bad Choices—and it hurts!

A friend, a family member . . . making bad choices & you can’t support those bad choices so you try to talk to them & they just reject you & get angry—you feel hurt & don’t know what to do . . . sadly, they feel the same way.
I’ve been the person making the bad choices before, so I know from experience that the anger came from the very real pain I felt & I couldn’t understand why others thought I was being dumb or foolish or any of the other words they used to try to shame me into not doing what
I was doing.
I am sure the people around me meant well & were trying to help me avoid some of the ultimate pain of those bad choices which I could not see at the time, so I resented their “interference.”
I don’t think any of the “advice” made a difference in my bad choices . . . I was determined to do what I wanted to do, BUT it did make a difference that God was there waiting for me when the darkness forced me to turn around & He was drawing me back to Him with His Love, actually had never stopped trying to draw me back & that was the part I came to realize and that made the difference in my life.
I may have walked away from God & taken some paths that were not good for me or others, but God never left me nor forsook me & that is the amazing grace that still brings hope to the darkest situation!!!
Foolishness IS a choice . . . but
NOTHING can separate me from the Love of God—
that may look like foolishness,
but it is the wisdom of a God who loves us SO much
He will pursue us to the end and I, for one,
am very glad He did!

Been there . . . done that!

Been there . . . done that!

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Road Rage Blessing

Yelling  . . . screaming . . . angry to the max! Yep, that’s what was happening in my car for many years—until I realized the only one being impacted by my outbursts was me, sometimes for hours or days after the “incident” I would experience the effects of this stress, mentally and physically.

One of the worst incidents was when a van went straight ahead in the right-turn-only lane on Race street by Wendy’s and sped up and cut in front of me so close I had to hit my brakes to keep from hitting it AND there were several kids inside! I hadn’t noticed this lady until she cut over right in front of me, so at first I was startled . . . then I was struck with the fact she almost caused damage to me . . . and then I was angry because she was responsible for those kids in her van. My flesh responses welled up inside of me SO intense, fueled by all those thoughts running through my head and I decided to stay right with that van until it reached a destination. What I really wanted to do was get in the woman’s face and scream at her, let her know she had no right to put me at risk of vehicle damage or injury and those kids . . . WOW! what was she thinking???

The van pulled into the WalGreen’s parking lot and I stopped at the entrance to watch as she pulled into a parking place and got out looking as if she had no idea what she had risked to get ahead by one spot in the line of traffic and maybe get to the parking place 20 seconds faster than if she had gotten in the correct lane and taken her turn as everyone else did! I stared at her with the meanest look I could muster and rolled down my window with the idea of speaking to this “person,” to maybe even do the “citizen’s arrest” thing for the “scared straight” impact!

As I thought through my options, I realized that it probably would have no impact on this woman or her future behavior, so I slowly moved forward and out of the parking lot. As I drove by her, it seemed like there was a little look of anxiety in her eyes, maybe because she knew I was angry, maybe because she had some situation in her own life that was not good, maybe because she figured this “crazy” who had followed her here was going to run over her. In any event, God used this incident to give me a new “coping skill.”

If you look in my car, you will see on the console a stuffed prayer lamb (Beth-le-lamb) and a St. Patrick’s Day small creature who laughs when you squeeze his tummy and who serves as the reminder of my “road rage blessing.” When some driver in the throes of that very common “self-centered, dangerous me-first” mentality that causes so many accidents invades my space, I grab my creature, shaking it at the offender and shout however loudly I need to: “GOD BLESS YOU as only HE can!” Squeezing the creature’s tummy, I feel my intensity lessening and my mind returning to the Truth that only God can make any difference in a person’s heart–it derails me from that track of negative, angry thoughts and reminds me He calls me to think on a different list of thoughts . . . ones that reflect His nature: true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good report, excellent, worthy of praise . . . and sanity returns to my mind, and peace starts building in my heart, and I take a deep breath to remind me of the flow of God’s Grace through my entire being, through the entire world . . . and, yes, even for that woman!

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I Will Walk Forward . . .

Bigotry is not a Christian value . . .

I WILL WALK FORWARD
(in remembrance of September 11, 2001)

I will walk forward
from this moment in time,
but this moment will never be far
away from me;
I will take up the task of living
each day, mixed with the pain of
the images of horror I see.
With so much mourning in so many
hearts there seems to be no room
for a personal grief—
Bitter tears threaten to fall at almost
any time
as a nation,
as a people,
as a person cannot find relief.

I will walk forward from this moment in time,
searching for some shred of yesterday’s song
Clutching at memories of those
who are gone, trying to move them
out of the shadows of the wrong;
Looking for light to drive out the spectre
of the evil hanging over our hearts
so we can be strong;
Searching for answers in images of
twisted steel,
rubble and smoke,
knowing it doesn’t belong.

I will walk forward from this moment in time
praising God for all those who did not die;
Being thankful for those who placed a call
to loved ones and friends with a final goodbye.
No words can describe the helpless feelings inside or
push away the darkness of fear from the sky;
But I know God is wanting to comfort and heal,
so I’ll tell Him I’m angry and know He hears my cry.

I will walk forward from this moment in time
with an anger that’s risen and refuses to fall—
Wanting to lash out at those faceless criminals
and make them suffer the pain they caused us all.
But I don’t want to be like them in any way,
so I’ll look to the heavens where God hears my call
and beg Him to touch me and heal my sore being
and guide us to the course where we can stand tall.

As I walk forward from this moment in time,
I ask above all, God, that you open our eyes—That we might not be guilty of doing what’s wrong or of doing what’s worse than those we loudly criticize;
That from the ashes, love will grow–
hate spawn forgiveness;
from meaningless violence,
commitment to all heart cries;
For it is only in sharing, loving
and giving ourselves that our hearts are cleansed and demons exorcised.

God, help me walk forward from this moment in time;
help me to not ever forget what’s happened here.
Help me remember that hate drove these people—
that someone believed they had to throw the spear.
Hold my heart close to yours, God, so love overflows
and constantly reminds me You’re bigger than my fear.
Remind me that as long as one person is harmed
because of being different from another—You shed a tear.

I will
walk
forward
as a part of this moment in time . . .

Sunday—September 16, 2001
Jeanne Hicks Barnett—Searcy, Arkansas

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First Responder

We say we believe God is sovereign . . . but, I personally don’t see myself living like I believe it! I still find myself trying to “fix” things and react to what I see as if I am capable of doing a better job than God or responding because His timing is obviously off!

Card Phil 1 6 complete

So, I often find myself looking at something I’ve “fixed” and wishing I had just stayed out of it or raising my fist to God and asking “how could you let this happen?” MAYBE it would be better if I just waited on God to begin with and rested in the knowledge that He really does know ALL things and works in ALL things for my good (Romans 8:28). Boy, it sure is hard to not just take charge and do what I think is best—oh, yeah!

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How many paths do you see?

CHOICES

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Conversation with a “Gifted” Oven

One thing I really love to do is bake. I have a gas stove because I feel I can control the temperature more precisely and, especially on baked goods, that can make a noticeable difference.

Yesterday, I decided to make some cookies, so I turned the oven on to preheat to the temperature in the recipe, got all my ingredients out and proceeded to follow the instructions for getting the dough ready to bake into cookies. With great anticipation, I opened the oven door and the oven felt very, very hot! I looked at the temperature dial and it was set st 375• just as the recipe said. I started to wiggle the knob just to be sure it was seated properly when I heard a voice say, “Don’t touch that knob!”

Needless to say, I was so startled I almost dropped the cookie sheet. Fearing I had slipped over the edge, I reached for the knob again to set it right and heard a voice again, “Don’t touch that knob!” What is going on here, I wondered to myself? Have I gone crazy? There wasn’t supposed to be anyone here but me; I decided to play along with whatever trick was being played to see if someone appeared from around the corner.

I looked at the oven. “Why did you say that?” I asked.

“Well,” the oven began, “I was created to bake; it’s what I do best. You might say it’s my gift. So, if I’m to use my gift properly, I need to bake your cookies the way I know they should be baked . . . at 450•.”

“Oh, my, no!” I replied sounding anxious. “These cookies should bake at 375•. It says so right in the recipe.”

“And you think that book is gifted to bake?” The oven asked with a kind of smirk in its voice.

“Well, no, of course not. But it’s gifted to give directions for making these cookies so they’ll turn out the way they should—and you’re not!” I argued.

“Humph!” the oven was sounding very disgruntled now. “I am gifted to bake and that is what I am going to do whether you like it or not! You did not make me and you did not give me my gift, so you can’t tell me how I should use my gift!!!”

“Oh, so that’s it huh? Well, let’s just take a look at the instruction manual for you and see what it says. Do you agree that you are supposed to function according to the instruction manual that the one who created you supplied?” I asked, feeling a little silly with this continuing argument with my oven.

“Sure, I agree. You just look and you’ll see that I am created to bake and maybe you’ll leave me alone to use my gift as I should instead of trying to take control of my gift,” the oven replied arrogantly.

That smug-sounding voice made me want to slam the oven door shut and call the trash pick-up service to come and take it away, but I couldn’t afford to do that because I needed it; so, I continued on with what was certainly a very strange “conversation.”

“Look,” I said, “maybe you’re just not understanding how this all works. I bought you and paid for you because I knew you were created to bake and I needed a way to bake things. I can’t do that without you. But,  because I bought you, I control how your ability to bake is used. See, if you control that ability, you may burn some things or not cook some things completely. Because I understand how different things need to be baked at different temperatures for different times, I need to control how you use your gift. That way, you are used for what you were created for and your gift is used to best benefit the one who paid for you—me, and all those who eat what we bake as a team.”

Feeling a little crazy, but trying to respond calmly, I continued, “Cakes, cookies, cupcakes, pies, souffles, tarts, quiches—you can’t treat them all the same. They’re all baked goods, but they each need different temperatures, different times of baking.”

Everything was quiet for several  minutes. I thought about reaching out to touch the knob, but decided to make sure the oven was not going to continue being difficult. “Well,” I said tentatively, “do you understand you’ll be happier if you let me control how you use your gift to bake? Just think—you’ll be using your gift to bake and I’ll be using my knowledge to set the right temperature and let each one bake for the right amount of time to get just the right results for each of the different baked goods we work on together! Everything will turn out so much better and we won’t be burning cookies because the temperature is too high or ending up with cakes that are half baked because the temperature is too low or the time is wrong.”

“Okay,” the oven anwered sounding at least a little contrite,
“I see your point. I just wanted to do what I do best, use my gift . . . what I was created for and I thought you were trying to keep me from doing that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I replied as I patted the oven door. “I want us to work together so we can do great things. It’s always best when each of us does what we do best while following the instructions given to us by the one who created us. You may not understand why I set your dial on ‘warm,’ but just trust me, there’ s a reason for it when I do it. And when I kick your dial up to its highest potential, it’s right for the project we’re working on and everything will turn out as it should in the end.”

That was the last time I heard anything from my oven . . .
no more “conversations” with any of my kitchen appliances.

I wonder if God was trying to help me understand something?

Friday—August 6, 2004

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The pitcher is TOO big!

A lot of years ago, when I was very young, I would beg my mama to let me wash the dishes! I wanted to help my mama, I wanted to be special to her, and I wanted to be a big girl, so when she let me wash some of the dishes, I felt really special and grown up!

There was a nice glass pitcher in the dishes one evening when she was letting me help, but she told me not to wash it because it was too big and too heavy for me to lift. When she went to do something else while I washed my allotted items, I couldn’t resist the temptation to wash that pitcher, to show her I was grown up more than she thought and I could do it!

Of course, you know what happened—she came back into the room when she heard the crash of the glass . . .  I had broken the pitcher.  Every day after that when we drank kool-aid, we got it from an ugly plastic pitcher and we all knew it tasted different. I was ashamed and I knew my mama was disappointed in me and I knew my brothers remembered it every day just like I did.

These days, I see the same principle in action in my life . . . my wanting to be “grown up” in God’s eyes, wanting to show I understand, wanting to show my special relationship with Him; but He tells me I am trying to do that in ways that are too big and too heavy for me to lift! (Matthew 11:29-30)

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts. ”  (Isaiah 55:8-9)

Still, I find myself thinking I understand “the truth” and can explain God’s word (just like the Pharisees) and, wanting to help, I try to bring other people’s thinking in line with what I “know” is right . . . and sometimes, I break the pitcher in someone’s heart or at least put a crack in it.

Letting God be God is a challenge . . . I want to help! I want to be grown up! I want God to think I’m special, let me walk in the garden with Him! And yet, His Word promises me all those things based on who He is—I can help because there are good works He created beforehand that I should walk in (I need to listen for His list), I can be a growing girl because He said blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled (He dwells within me), and I am special to God because He created me in His image, and I can walk in the garden with Him because He said I will never leave you nor forsake you!

God, please don’t let me break any more pitchers . . .

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you;
not as the world gives do I give to you
Do not let your heart be troubled,
nor let it be fearful.
John 14:27

But thanks be to God,
who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and
manifests through us
the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.
2 Corinthians 2:14

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In pursuit of . . .

Feeling overwhelmed with those emotions that come when the heart is touched—tears seemed very close as I felt God was pleased with what He saw going on in this one family’s life (Frank Slaughter) . . . I saw part of a TV show where a man works in the place where he had been incarcerated and attempted to help others find hope, to get a second chance at life. He said his message is that we need to give hope to each other; to say to the others we meet that everyone falls, everyone stumbles, but you can get up and go forward. I did it and I’m not better than you are  . . . I’m just like you are and you can do it, too!

During the “extreme makeover,” of the house, the choir sang as the identified source of inspiration and joy! Every time they sang, I was overwhelmed again with those emotions that can’t really be described, just experienced—music is such a powerful tool and weapon! These were people who remembered the most important thing God put us here for . . . LOVE!

Reaching out and touching others as God’s Love flows through us . . . these people were not consumed by:
—the PURSUIT of income/things
(God’s covenant promises His provision)
—the PURSUIT of ways to protect themselves, families or their possessions
(God’s covenant promises His protection)
—the PURSUIT of impressing others, trying to convince themselves
and others that they had value
(God’s covenant promises His identity—priceless)
but, these people were living out the belief that God works with us in ALL things for our good—moment by moment, we need to be not only standing in the awareness of who God is, but allow what He has placed within us to flow through us to those around us, not because we are better than anyone else and can give to a “lesser” person, but because we are just like all the fallen, the downtrodden, the sinner. Only a person who realizes where he/she has been can hand another person a cup of water or a piece of  bread through which Love flows as a healing stream

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Humility or Humidity?

It’s summer, so you expect to experience some humidity which can make you sweat, hot and wet to varying degrees—high humidity is very uncomfortable!

Humility, in my opinion, is “cool.” My favorite definition of “humility” is from a quote I once read by William Temple: “Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts.  It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all. ” Simply put: humility is not thinking of yourself meanly, it’s not thinking of yourself at all.

Awareness of/Acknowledging who God is always results in less of an awareness of self. Humility happens as a result of our focus. If we strive to attain humility, it is likely we will “take pride” in our humility thus defeating our initial purpose.

So, will we choose to fix our eyes on Jesus and allow the mind of Christ to hold us in that humble mindset OR experience the opposite of humility . . . humidity (which equals being all wet from the outpouring of our own self adoration—that should really make us uncomfortable!)

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The “SOURCE” Be With You

Sometimes my life path seems overwhelming and it is SO empowering to know that all outcomes do not depend on my puny efforts or my ability to analyze and respond to any of what I see. Luke Skywalker in the movie Star Wars is motivated and encouraged by being reminded that “the Force is with you” and I find that remembering that the “Source is with me” can lift me up when I feel down in that deep, dark pit of depression or stir up hope that all will work out as it should when I am struggling with situations or others and see no answer.

Starting my day with a focus on the “Higher Power” is what encourages my heart instead of mentally picking up that “to do” list and struggling with how I am going to do things I am not capable of doing! Stepping back instead to the reassurance that GOD IS the SOURCE of ALL (including me :0)) it does NOT depend on me, even the focus of my heart is from Him: Jeremiah 24:7 “I will give them a heart to know Me, for I am the LORD; and they will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with their whole heart.”—Jesus said His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11)  and this day will be as it should because I do not face it alone . . . the SOURCE is with me!

Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that                                                          the Spirit of God dwells in you?

1 Corinthians 3:16

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