God looks different to me than He does to you and,
He looks a lot different to me today than He did
5 years ago or 10 years ago—
even the way He looked to me yesterday is
slightly different than He looks to me today
because every moment “stuff” happens or
I think of something differently than I did 5 minutes ago
or I hear something that makes me start thinking
about something I had never considered before that moment . . .
I’ve heard it said that we create God in our own image or,
at the very least, we assume He has characteristics
that fit some sort of a list of expectations we have in our minds.
This list seems to change over a period of time because it
draws from our experiences, examples of people we admire,
and how we internalize and respond to our daily existence—
we draw conclusions often without being consciously aware
that we are drawing conclusions—and
we incorporate these conclusions into our basic belief system
including how we view what we call “God.”
The puzzle of my life includes periods of dark traumas
mixed with periods of “blue skies” interspersed with
some periods I can’t recall very well because nothing very good
or very bad was happening to place a marker on that period.
And, so it is with my view of God—
sometimes I view Him in the “blue skies” above and
sometimes I see Him as a force against a very dark, stormy backdrop
sometimes I see Him as a part of the “structure of organized religion”
other times I see Him up in the clouds of a non-descript sky floating freely;
sometimes I think He is a very formal entity who wants my bowing down
and other times I feel He is a caring friend who is close to me;
sometimes I don’t think I can see Him at all and
sometimes I feel I can see Him clearly—and
I think that is all okay with God
as I wander on my path and wonder about God . . .
spirit seeking Spirit . . . always . . .
wait! is that a light I see just ahead . . .
does it look like . . . could it be . . . God?
What a beautiful piece of introspection regarding God!
I like to think that as I get older my perspective on God doesn’t just change, but grows deeper.
These past two times when I’ve found myself in tears with my legs aching like they are, I’ve found myself saying to Him, “There You are on Your throne, and here am I in pain and falling apart!”
Immediately I feel guilty and I ask Him to forgive me. After all, what do I think He’s doing on His throne? Having a sumptuous meal prepared for Him by the angels?
He’s continually at work in our lives. Not as fast as I’d like to see, but He’s working.
Really great thoughts! Life can be so challenging and pain,
physical and emotional, has led me to cry out to God –
sometimes in anger, sometimes in frustration, and
sometimes feeling defeated. I’ve shouted all those “why” questions
at God and did not hear an answer. Over the years, I am beginning
to believe that every pain, every trauma, every dark time holds a gift,
something buried deep within it that will lead me closer to God, to that
intimate relationship that is Love and is Comfort and is Peace beyond
understanding. I firmly believe God understands my need to cry out and, in
fact, welcomes it because it means I am looking to him (even if it is in anger)
and it reflects my longing for God to show himself as the source of ALL in
the way I am needing – it can lead me to being the clay on the potter’s wheel
because, as you say, God is continually at work in our lives. So IF I can take
my focus off of my pain and make statements of trust in God, say out loud –
“I don’t understand, God, BUT I know you are working for me. I believe, God,
help my unbelief.” That might help me “see” something beyond my pain,
something I gain (like patience, ha! ha!) or I might be able to encourage
someone else by letting them see me “trusting God for the Light in my darkness.” It is a process that I must trust God to complete and he will!
Thank you SO much for sharing your thoughts, your insights can give
hope to others.