Dreams – Becoming Who I Am . . .

Dancing in the ballet . . . a dream for as long as I can remember—my earliest memory in childhood is of a strong conviction that I would be a ballerina.
I had a Tina the ballerina doll, a storybook and a record my grandma had given me and I longed to be just like Tina. My grandma even made a matching outfit for me and Tina.

I was determined and mom could tell I was committed to doing whatever it took so she signed me up for ballet lessons (it was tap and ballet, there was no class of just ballet in our area for my age). I wanted to do just ballet, but . . . did I mention I was/am a strong-will child to the max, so I would not give up!

Unfortunately, I had rheumatic fever as a child, spent time in a clinic receiving treatments and I was in and out of the hospital until somewhere around the age of eleven. Mom was able to find a doctor doing a research project involving special injections that were supposed to bring improvement to me and eliminate the need for me to have so many periods of hospitalization.

AT THAT TIME, a standard part of treatment for rheumatic fever was a total
elimination of exercise or exertion of any kind. I graduated from high school
with NO physical education credits which were normally required in many
places in the United States, but I had a medical exemption so NO physical
education classes for me.

SO, before long, I was forced to stop my dance classes due to the exertion
required in tap dancing. I was SO devastated—I cried many times and felt
that my heart was crushed. I slept with my first hard-toe ballet shoes and
refused to give them up for a long time. Eventually, my mom packed away
my ballet shoes and Tina because she reminded me of the dream I felt
I had lost and I cried every time I saw her.

I still love ballet for the same reasons I wanted to be a ballerina –
I see the beauty, the grace, the storytelling –
and my heart would sometimes ache for the loss of that dream from
my childhood . . . to be a ballerina . . . dancing freely, joyously . . .
I am a ballerina – I see beauty all around me, within my spirit I dance and
soar gracefully, and I feel compelled to find other ways to tell stories—
my childhood dream may look different than I thought it would,
(no rabbit fur in hard-toe shoes) but the dream still lives in me . . .
the heart of a ballerina lives on . . .
tag: bloganuary

About Jeanne

a work in progress . . . God's grace has brought me through many traumas of varying intensities and I am alive today (both physically & spiritually) because of Him and His work: "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus"-Philippians 1:6. My childhood was spent living in many places in the United States due to my family's music or ministry—The Hicks Family, made up of Olan & Barbara Hicks, my younger brothers, Clint & Chuck & me, sang in different combos (put out an album), does so no longer professionally . . . but, visit a family gathering in Searcy & you're bound to hear some foot-tapping sounds (or catch my dad & mom on the road)! I believe that every moment of each life path (the good & what I perceive as the bad) God works together for my good as His child whether I understand it or not. MUSIC and MINISTRY are still primary aspects of the path God has me walking—so exciting! Words that have encouraged me since 1980: ". . . giving them a garland instead of ashes,The oil of gladness instead of mourning,The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting So they will be called oaks of righteousness,The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified." Isaiah 61:3
This entry was posted in Bloganuary 2023. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Dreams – Becoming Who I Am . . .

  1. Can you follow my site.

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  2. Thanks for sharing this.

  3. A compelling story beautifully told.

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