I was raised in one of the “one true church” groups and I am still “unlearning” some of the basic concepts from that time – some basic beliefs:

• if you do not belong to this church “group,”
you are lost and condemned to hell
—which means:
I must set you straight, correct all your errors
and make you accept the “truth” I see but
that you are blind to

—what that actually means:
I and my group are smarter than all who are
not members of this “right” group
displaying arrogance, pride, and judgementalism
but never realizing it – my motive was good –
I did not want anybody to go to hell and
eternal punishment
which kept a huge pressure on me and
I did not hear the harshness of the mean-spirited words
I spoke to try to “rescue” those who were “lost” –
I HAD to save them!!! My trust was in me and my group,
not in God.

• part of what was hammered into me was
DO NOT ever read or listen to anyone who is
not a part of our group because they are “evil”
and will lead you astray – label them as false teachers
and cover your ears –
so how could any of our members ever learn
anything other than “our truth”???

For me, the first point of light was
when extreme trauma occurred and
my “group” had no answers and
heaped guilt and shame on me as if I was at fault . . .
at 19 years old I walked away, broken,
deeply wounded, and alone.
I accepted that I was “lost” because
I believed if I was not a part of that group,
I had no way to be in relationship with God—
I was painfully alone with nowhere to turn.

By the Grace of God, I came into contact with
some people who chose to accept me just as I was
and show me the God who is Love and,
over the decades since then,
I have found seeds of truth in
every philosophy of seekers
from diverse paths and I know what
I did not know in my childhood —
when I know that I do not know,
Truth will guide me to discoveries of
wells of Living Water
through the journeys of other seekers—
I do not have to fear exploring Truth.

So, my advice is – do not argue with a fundamentalist,
but always state a willingness to listen and to consider
differing opinions respectfully and calmly –
practice the “golden rule” by giving to others
what you want for yourself . . .
Ask: I will listen and consider, will you do the same?
If not, disengage without insult.
Only the Spirit can soften a heart
so it can “hear” the flow of Living Water
beckoning it to come drink from the fountain . . .